I thought I knew who he was:

The Prince Charming who I broke.

I stood on the ground,

The only reason to look up was to look up at The Mountain of Ashes that once was the potential and hope for a grand high school love,

All of the potential adventure.

I could’ve kept my head down,

Could’ve mended the Mountain,

Could’ve moved it.

Instead, I just kept staring at it,

Waiting for Prince Charming to forgive me.

Waiting for my guilt,

Like a fire in my belly,

To become ash as well,

So I could blow it away.

But no,

I just kept staring at the Mountain of a relationship in ruins.

Enough.

I’d walk away,

Begin my building of a new relationship,

A New Mountain,

But I’d always stop halfway and go back to staring at The Mountain of Ash,

And they would all be left as hills behind me.

I would tell myself that I was over it,

Prince Charming’ll laugh with an even better Cinderella,

Her glass slipper will fit perfectly,

They will build their castle u’top their mountain,

And I’ll be u’top another with my own.

I’m over it, Im Over It, ImOverIt,

Out loud, in my head.

My body still heavy with guilt,

I faced the reality that I was not over it.

Ignore it,

YOU WILL GET OVER HURTING HIM.

Reminiscing on the sunny days with him while staring at the Mountain of Ash,

Anger.

How can I still be so TORN UP with something I CHOSE to do?!

No,

ENOUGH.

I start my treck,

Feet sinking into the burt cracks,

Pages ripped out of our chapter getting caught in between my toes,

I'm getting to the top,

No more staring up at failure just to pity myself.

One memory in front of the other,

My vision is clearing,

It wasn’t all me.

Prince Charming’s “I'm sorry I wasn't good enough”,

Prince Charming’s anger over my beginning of a new,

Prince Charming’s perfect image had me blind,

Manipulated me into a sea of guilt and regret,

Caught me off guard at a time when my heart was raw and exposed.

It knocked the wind out of me,

Sent me rushing to the ground head first-

SMACK:

Skull hits despair,

Amnesia.

Standing at the top of The Mountain of Ash,

Looking down,

MY VISION IS CLEAR.

I see from up here that:

I TRIED,

I WANTED HIM AND I SHOWED HIM,

I WAS ALWAYS SHOWING HIM.

CRYING OVER HIM,

DYING OVER HIM,

NEVER STOPPED WANTING TO ACTUALLY KNOW HIM,

THE WHOLE TIME,

HE IS A STRANGER.

BLINK, BLINK, BLINK,

LOOKING DOWN AT MY FEET ON TOP SOMETHING I THOUGHT I BURNED DOWN WITH MY OWN MATCH,

BLINK BLINK BLINK AWAY YOUR TEARS GIRL,

ENOUGH.

HOT TEARS HIT ASH WITH A SIZZLE AND A SPARK AND ALL OF A SUDDEN,

A TSUNAMI.

DROWNING IN RUSHING ICE COLD WATER,

FEELING ITS TUG ON MY SKIN LIKE IT WANTS ME FOREVER,

Closing my crying eyes,

I'm not scared.

Let this wave drag me away,

Ive realized all I’ve needed to.

Slowly,

I open my eyes to find myself in a grassy meadow.

Inhale,

Exhale,

Again and again until I stand up.

I turn around,

The Mountain of Ash has been washed away to leave the unfamiliar glowing sun.

In this moment, my heart becomes a dove and starts her journey for the olive branch.

While she's gone,

I will wait patiently among these flowers who whisper sweet nothings,

And bask in the golden rays of truth,

As I tell, not myself,

But THE WORLD that,

I Am Over It.