They’re watching me

They sit there and watch me fail

They don’t speak

They don’t do anything

All they do is sit and watch me fail

Every moment of my life I’ve felt like I’m being judged

By the way I look, talk, dress

Some days I know my life is mine and no one else can change it

But most days the darkness takes over me

It covers my entire body and I’m in a dark cave,

alone

Darkness in every corner

There’s darkness for miles

“There’s a light at the end of the road” they say

But with people watching I could never make it

Most days I say “you are alone with no one to help you and no one to talk to”

Because everyone is watching

I try to make them feel better by making myself suffer

I’ve tried to break that habit of a fake smile believe me I have tried

Again and again but nothing works

Everything I do falls to the ground like rain from the clouds

That’s all I have at this point

That darkness that runs throughout my body at mile a minute and the raindrops that fall down my face from two puffy clouds

You know the feeling when you are scared to do something because of the feeling of being judged

It’s hurts I should know because it happens to me every single day

Being scared of failing is a bad thing but I can’t control it

Every time I’m alone I feel all the judgement sitting on my back causing me to fall

Causing me to fall in the rain

Causing me to fall in the darkness

Causing people to watch.