Toxic | Teen Ink

Toxic

January 22, 2019
By Shadowbeanz BRONZE, Broken Arrow, Oklahoma
Shadowbeanz BRONZE, Broken Arrow, Oklahoma
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
"For nothing is impossible with God."


The word love tastes like cyanide,

I'm only attracted to toxic relationships,

I don't know why. 

His body is a drug and I'm a drug addict. 

Drugs kill people, 

Like he's killing me. 

But I don't know the difference between co-dependence and love

he's my dopamine

and too much of it can kill

but when I'm with him I don't know when to stop

There is no rehab for the lovesick. 

There are no medications to cure loneliness,

This is what I get for trying to save you.

When I tried to save you I lost myself,

I lost myself in the lust that you made me believe was love

I lost myself in empty words. 

It was like trying to drink the last drop of an empty bottle

Now that I've  lost myself I can't help but to think the only way anyone is going to love me is to use my body

It's the only way I know how to love. 

the only way I know how to love is through meaningless sex

I don't know why I believe you when you say it isn't my body that makes you attracted to me. 

I don't know why I mix lust with love 

or why I try to find that feeling

this isn't who I used to be. 

you don't know who you are until it's gone

I've spent 3 years trying to find myself

But I always end up at a dead end.


The author's comments:

I consider this work of poetry to be one my best works. I do hope you enjoy it. 


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