It has been said that I am like my family

This might explain why

I try to work harder than anyone

Why I stay away from alcohol and drugs

Because I have seen the effects

I am not like that

The way my father throws blame at everyone else

But himself

The way my grandpa is banned

or red-flagged by emergency rooms

Because he just wants pills

The way my mother constantly feels

like she isn’t enough

I am like my mother in that sense

I am afraid to fall into the abyss

I have been told that I look like my family

Is it the dark brown eyes?

Is it the dark brown hair?

I know it isn’t the height or the build

My sister is built like a house

She is big boned and tall

She looks like she belongs in my family

I am the short and tiny exception

I am the disappointment

The not enough

The rough draft

My sister the attention seeker

My sister the baby

My sister the favorite

Being the oldest doesn’t mean anything

Being the oldest is being the guinea pig

They try everything out

And change it all for the second

I am always told I am like my family

But I am not

My hair and eyes might be but

My brain and will are not.