Am I alright?

Is alright real?

How do I know

what I really feel?

My brain truly hurts

There’s far too much thought

I don’t know what I am

I don’t know what I’m not

I don’t know what to think

I don’t know what I’m thinking

I’m not in control

And my brain just keeps ringing

Over and over

Around and around

Repetitive thoughts fill my head

With dull sound

I’m not alright

How could I be?

When my own mind

Has it out for me?

Opinions? Got plenty

I agree with both sides

When my mind gets going

I’m just along for the ride

At least three voices,

maybe more at some times

Like to come in

And give me a chime

“You’re worthless.”

“You’re great.”

“Was that thought really pure?”

“I shouldn’t have thought that.”

My mind is a sewer

If I’m not in charge of my thoughts

Then what is?

Is there some outside force?

Is it something within?

If my own thoughts

and my mind are at odds

Does that mean my soul

Always goes against God

A spiritual search

Leaves me in despair

I don’t know what’s here

And I’ll never be there

Am I alright?

Is alright real?

Are there happy people

Who can actually feel?

An undistressed mind

Is foreign to me

Silence? Quiet?

What do they mean?

The way that I speak

Counters how I think

I need an escape

Too bad I can’t drink

What I put on paper

I can’t say aloud

Am I too quiet?

Too wordy?

Too loud?

To question an answer

That comes from within

Is my best response

But I never win

Losing’s my purpose

You’ll never see

Me playing well

And on the right team

But how can I win?
Who do I trust

When all my ideas

End in a bust

Is there any hope?

Will I ever get out?
A cry for help

That’s my silent shout

When the future remembers

Will it be kind to me?

How far can I go?

What will I be?

Can I pull myself out

Of this bottomless pit?

I’m kidding myself

I’m too full of-

It…

Throw me a rope

Two things I can do

Two ways to get out

Only one can pull through

So lift me up

Get me out of this mess

I’m better already

Now make me the best

Be the best thing

That could happen to me

Give me the heart

To set others free.

Give me the rope

I’ll pull myself out

I’ll even help others

Live with my shout

My internal scream

Louder than ever

With eyes to the future

And looking back never

Triumph and sadness

Mixing with truth

My spirits now lifting

All out through the roof