I don’t believe you

When you say I’ll fail at life.

I know you’re wrong.

You’re just a test.

No,

You’re not even a test.

A test is something that helps me grow,

Challenges me,

Helps me make mistakes

That I can look back on

And use as a springboard for my curiosity.

You’re just an egotistical pound of paper

Placed in front of me by a self important corporation

Who claims to better my education

Because no one else can question their authority.

They must be right, because they are

Because every college I want to attend loves them,

So I have to love them too.

But my education has taught me to challenge that logic.

My education says that shouldn’t be how it works

That no one is right simply because they have the power to be.

My education pays for me to take this test

So I don’t fail at life

Because apparently education can only go so far

Without being tested by bubble sheets and number two pencils.

Everything can be condensed into an exam

If you try hard enough.

If you can’t fit an educational experience

Into written words and diagrams

You’re not trying hard enough.

Try harder,

They say

Because you have to get into college

Try again,

They say

You’re not good enough yet.

I will,

I yell back,

I’ll get into college.

I know I’m smart

I can get there without your help

You’re just a number,

A scam that doesn’t really matter,

When you step back from the pressure.

You’re not an accurate representation of my abilities.

I don’t need your criticism.

So then why do I feel like crying?

I’m in the 90th percentile,

But I feel like I failed.

Because I didn’t get into that Honors College,

Because 10% of people scored better than me,

Because I can’t not compare myself to other people,

Even when I pride myself on standing out.

I pride myself on not judging from a number,

On accepting things as they are and staying positive.

But here I am,

With a score better than 89% of the population,

And I’d rather put aside my hatred for that corporation

Than be happy with 1370.

Because the system says I’m not quite good enough,

So I’ll have to pay $50 just to prove my worth.