The Blood is emptying out of every pore and vein.

The bodiless figure lies there

like a slab of wood and drains every last

drop, uncountable.

Alone in a narrow room,

still,

minus the distant din.

She wanted this.

She sensed it was right.

She could not fight anymore.

It wasn’t just the family problems.

Or any of the issues at school.

Or the thoughts running through her head.

It was a bit of everything.

Her birthday was 2 weeks ago.

She is still overwhelmed by it all.

It seems like everything that happens

refuses to leave her mind.

Everything was getting wrapped up

into a massive orb

ready to burst.

But she knows if she speaks a word,

not one being will believe her and

she might get the hand again

or worse.

She held it in

for far too long

and could not take it anymore.

The fighting felt pointless.

There was “nothing left” for her.

She knew nothing was going to get better.

Only worse.

No one was coming for her rescue.

Or at least she thought.

She was too afraid to speak up

knowing something terribly extreme

was coming her way.

She would lock herself up in her room

and wait for the day

she’d have enough courage

to do it.

Once that day happened

all she could say too herself was “Sorry, but it’s my time”.

There was “nothing left” for her.

Now, all her family and friends can do

is say their last Goodbyes.

And hope to see her

in the next world

Although

we know we won’t.

She is no more.

Goodbye lovely, lost, broken soul.

Hope you find what

you’ve been seeking,

in the unknown.

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“Forgive me, please! I know none of you care that I am gone. You didn’t care when I was here. I did what I did because I can't handle being here anymore. Everyone is either mad at me or highly dislikes me. I don't understand why? I’ve tried too hard to just keep being pushed away and I’m done with everyones terrible ways. There is nothing left more me. This was my last option. No one even cares. I don’t know why I’m even writing this. So here is my final goodbyes. I love you all so much and none of you loved me. Goodbye everyone. Sorry ,I couldn’t fight anymore. Sorry I’m too weak to go on. Sorry, but it’s my time.”

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Her parents, lost in the words.

Can’t figure out how to feel.

Mad ?

Sad ?

Guilt ?

All in one.

They sit

trying to think

of a way to tell her little brother.

He walked into the house

at the wrong time.

Just in time

to see his dear mother

start to cry.

She finally felt her emotions.

The son,

being only 9,

Ask

what has happened

and where his sister is.

The parents

don’t respond.

They sit in silence

waiting for the other to speak.

The father tells him

his sister is no longer with them.

After awhile

he realizes what he means

and starts a downpour of tears.

They let him

read the note.

As he reads

he sniffles his nose.

All he can smell

is beer

coming from his father’s breath.

He stands up

and shouts.

“ YOU DID THIS TO HER! ALL SHE WANTED WAS A FATHER”

The dad sits in shock

as his 9 year old son

shouts meaning

That hit him like a bus.

Every word.

Every motion made by hand.

Father gets out of his seat

and walks outside.

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“How could I do this? He’s right. It was all my fault. I’m a terrible person. A terrible father! How could I not see what I was doing? This whole time, I have been blind. “Oh God My Daughter!” Am I really the reason my own daughter killed herself? Was I really abusing her? Do I really drink that much? I need to stop everything. I need to figure this out. What do I do? “I'm so sorry! I'm a terrible father!” How could this have happened?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He sits outside on the porch steps

as he comes to realization.

What had happened?

He starts yelling at himself

out loud.

He sees the neighbors walk down the street

confused.

He starts crying.

Sobbing.

Wailing.

He gets up to walk it all off

and calm his nerves.

The only problem is

 he can’t move.

The man is in pure shock.

And hatred towards himself.

Doesn’t know what to do.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                     “I wonder if it’s true? He never talked about his feelings. I’ve never seen him cry. I wish I could go to him. I didn’t even think about how my family would feel. What about grandpa and grandma? Aunts and Uncles? My friends? Why did I do this? I could have easily just talked to them. But yet I couldn’t. I’ve tried and they never listen. I remember once I tried to tell my mother that I was upset, but she pushed me away. They all pushed me away! I left my poor little brother with those people!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s too late now.

“I’m Sorry”