Hopeless

I try to give myself the gift of bliss,

But it still seems I do it to numb myself

My heart says it has put on layers,

But it still seems things have stayed the same

I relate to my music,

But in an unconscious way

as if i will still go on,

in a mindset of lies

It seems like my mind is a blur of confusion and forgetfulness

The dots just don’t connect anymore

and I wonder why

Lost reality

Every night I go to bed

wishing I could sleep forever

Every morning I wake up 

dreading another day of layers and unconsciousness

More and more weight to carry,

on top of the blur that is already there

More and more overthinking to do,

to find my lost reality

More and more lies

More and more failures

More and more confusion

More and more

layers...

Torment

It all just seems like I am hopeless

I have a blur in my mind

along with shameful voices and overthinking

and the sense of being unconscious

I just don’t know how I will ever get out of

my current state of mind