My Honest Poem

I was born on June 26th, which makes 26 my lucky number,

I parked my shared bike on the 26th parking spot,

Fold 26 paper stars to pray for an encounter,

And whisper your name in silence for 26 times,

Not to feel you exist, but I exist.

I’ve been walking on an edge between dream and reality,

Sleepwalk in daytime and awake and love and breathe in dreams in insanity,

Carefully manage everything as they said take your responsibility,

Only to hear that I make them disappointed,

In dreams I don’t hide, I don’t get judged, I fly up above the sky,

I make mistakes, I get understood, I live my life.

I love it when I stand on the balcony in midnight or early morning,

When no one is talking,

As if I am the only one awake in this entire land,

Cool wind and mist surrounding,

My eyes closed and resting,

To feel what it means to be existing,

in this world with so many questions remain answering.

I am used to love and wish with no return,

I enjoy the sorrow of my own tragedy,

Happiness and warmth are temporary,

That I am afraid to lose them at any times,

But pain and sorrow,

They stay with me forever,

And that makes me feel not lonely,

Knowing I won’t lose anything.

I like to see cherry blossom falling,

fireworks fading as if never existing,

All those beauty in leaving and fading in silence and tranquility,

On a road only lead by time and destiny.

I once heard Brave Heart on the top of a Scottish mountain,

An old man played it,

On a rainy gloomy afternoon,

I remember how I danced in the rain,

Soaked through and chilled,

but feel like flying,

as if all I ever know is simply dancing.

One late night in a bus station,

Chilly heavy wind wuthering,

I saw my shadow under the light of a street lamp,

Like a pony, hurrying toward a mature world with black and white,

That chased after me to force me grow up faster,

And faster,

Into a world without dreams,

I put my index finger,

Right in front of forehead,

So that I am a unicorn,

So that I fight back for one last time.

I see my whole life in the unicorn shadow,

About growing up alone,

About loving someone but never say that out loud,

Only to lick that sweetness over and over again,

In places with no smell or taste,

About grandma’s floral handkerchief,

Hiding popping candies just for me,

About how I wish to hug you across the universe,

So that I am not left me alone between heaven and earth,

So that we never grow up.

So that we never wake up.