I know where I come from.

I come from broken ties and dysfunction-

from alcoholics and I-owe-yous that are never repaid.

I come from broken promises and sideswept glances 

and having to relearn who my own father is because he was ripped away from me.

I come from family members pushed to suicide attempts

because they are too mentally unstable to keep going.

One actually succeeded.

I can’t remember what her face looks like.

I come from an owl that shouldn’t have to be wiser than his years

because he was taught to be compliant and lucky he still had a roof over his head- 

even if said room contained horrifying demons that tried to break him at every turn.

I come from a broken spine that will never be able to heal 

because he is too hardworking and kind for his own good 

and a mother that sits on her ass most days 

because she was never taught any better.

I come from mind numbing anxiety 

and the wish to be something I’m not in the hopes of blending in.

It never works.

The bullies always manage to find me.

Sometimes those bullies would be my own family. 

You can bet some family get-togethers would get awkward.

I come from a different identity than the one imposed upon me, 

where I had to hide and push it out 

in fear of being labeled more of a freak than I was.

I come from self-inflicted scars on my arms that will never heal

because I’m too broken to have any better coping mechanisms.

I come from screaming matches that are rolls of thunder in a storm of tension- 

they seem never ending these days.

No one ever wins.

I came into a world riddled with unresolved issues 

that will still be prevalent no matter how hard we may try.

History repeats itself, after all.

I came into a world that quickly shook me out of my sunshine and rainbows fantasy 

and has left me scrambling for purchase in earth that is crumbling beneath my feet.

I came into a world where I was naturally poor with the unfortunate luck 

of having to deal directly with the problems of capitalism- 

greedy men that want nothing more than to get richer.

I came into a world where there is no equality.

Where the rose tinted glasses of innocence have been ripped off my face 

and I am left blind.

I am blind, 

and yet I can see clearer than most people can in their delusions of complacency.

And in my blindness, I am forced to find and grip the augmented glasses 

of a world of lies and deceit.

People tell me I’m too self aware for my own good.

I can’t help but find myself agreeing with them.