I'll still Hang On | Teen Ink

I'll still Hang On

June 8, 2022
By saesame SILVER, Port Moody, Columbia
saesame SILVER, Port Moody, Columbia
5 articles 7 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
No Pain, No Gain

Every day 
Looking at those shoes, bustling 
along the corridor. With each step, 
They echo qualms in my ears 
Trapped in that horde of obnoxious 
voices, locking myself in a closet of darkness 
Over and over again getting tortured,  
by the mirrored version  
of myself, my polar opposite 
My mirror going mad, hurling 
a demented choir swirling 
through my head in a hurricane 
of chaos, pathetic, coward, two-faced 
the choir echoes round. 
“How was your day?” My mom calls out,  
“Just fine!” I reply 
keeping that poker face alive. 
All I can do is watch through the seams 
of the doors I put in front of myself 
Watching noble extroverts hold their popularity high 
forming an unspoken hierarchy 
and I, a commoner, lowly and invisible 
During the day, fatigue reigns 
By nightfall, insomnia blooms 
By dawn, it wilts  
The thick film of darkness glued onto my eyes remains 
Immersed in hate 
drowned in self-loathing 
The horror of being lonely 
but preferring solitude 
I’m hanging by a thread 
All I have to do is let go 
But every day,  
I'll still hang on 
Looking at those shoes. 

The author's comments:

I've always been an extreme introvert with social anxiety, but that doesn't mean I don't like talking. People always just assume that I don't. Sometimes people think I have a split personality because they don't know what I usually act like at home or when I'm with someone I'm comfortable with and because they assume and think that way, I hate talking to people because they always end up hating me. I wrote this poem about how I feel every day at school and I hope it will find others that feel the same way. 

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