Every day 
Looking at those shoes, bustling 
along the corridor. With each step, 
They echo qualms in my ears 
 
Trapped in that horde of obnoxious 
voices, locking myself in a closet of darkness 
Over and over again getting tortured,  
by the mirrored version  
of myself, my polar opposite 
 
My mirror going mad, hurling 
a demented choir swirling 
through my head in a hurricane 
of chaos, pathetic, coward, two-faced 
the choir echoes round. 
“How was your day?” My mom calls out,  
“Just fine!” I reply 
keeping that poker face alive. 
 
All I can do is watch through the seams 
of the doors I put in front of myself 
Watching noble extroverts hold their popularity high 
forming an unspoken hierarchy 
and I, a commoner, lowly and invisible 
 
During the day, fatigue reigns 
By nightfall, insomnia blooms 
By dawn, it wilts  
 
The thick film of darkness glued onto my eyes remains 
 
Immersed in hate 
drowned in self-loathing 
The horror of being lonely 
but preferring solitude 
I’m hanging by a thread 
All I have to do is let go 
 
But every day,  
I'll still hang on 
 
Looking at those shoes.