I am my mothers daughter

I’ve searched for her love in every corner of my room

Begged for her comfort in every part of me that she gave to me

If she was as beautiful as I am

Maybe she’d see herself as I once saw her

She has never hated me

She has only hated herself

A mothers hate is not much different than a mothers love

I want to live in a place where she cannot reach me

Maybe on top of the highest mountain

Or the bottom of the sea

I am my mothers daughter

I am fire and I am smoke

But I am not brave nor as strong as I seem

I don’t know when to shut my mouth

I look for her in the eyes of everyone I meet

Or in the validation of my first, second, and so on loves

She kisses my wounds

Tells me I’m her baby

I turn my back

And she pours salt in the gashes she’s created

I am my mothers daughter

She’ll give me all her hurt until her breathing stops

Fill me with guilt as her heart beats for the last time

Guilt that will turn me to stone

Stones that will pull my feet down to the bottom of the sea

Please forgive me

For I can only lie to myself every time I forgive you