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Seven A.M. Traffic
I live too much inside my head
Thoughts stand at the foot of my bed, waltzing in and out of me
Fooling me until I am made aware of the demon from under my bed
I live too much inside my head
I become aware of my surroundings but later forget where I’m at
I gaze into a mirror but find no reflection
I dream endlessly until an alarm awakes me
Slumber, why can’t I exist inside of it?
I live too much inside my head
You see, I overwhelm myself with fantasies
Which corrupts my view of reality
The only way to escape my delusional state of mind is by admitting its falsehood
I don’t think I’ll be ever able to
Unless I come to terms with the fact that my childhood has ceased
I live too much inside my head
Seemingly, I’m content, but that’s because what I imagine cannot be achieved
And what cannot be fulfilled is what I am after
You might say I’m a tortured actor in that sense:
My misery is in my loss of identity
I can’t contain it anymore
I live too much inside my head
I can’t explain it anymore
I wish to be a different person instead
One morning, I decided to exist beyond my head
Beyond what I could comprehend
And that’s when I came to the revelation: My only friend exists within my head
Seven A.M., my shaking hands on a steering wheel, barely driving steady
Deafening rock music blaring from my car stereo
As I try deciphering the lyrics but find no deeper meaning
Windows unrolled so perhaps the frigid air can give me greater insight
Wake me up from this coma that I’m not sure how I got into
Reckless, I drive on the opposite side of traffic
Headlights so bright they blind me and I have no vision
Glass shattering into a multitude of pieces as there is a collision between multiple cars
Shouts from angry drivers petrify me so greatly
That their words become the incessant beat of a drum
A crescendo can be heard from the plethora of honking cars all facing in my direction
Nobody even questions what I’m doing out here alone
And my car, in the middle of this mayhem
While blue and red twinkle through the endless stream of white and yellow
I should have driven down another highway instead
I live too much inside my head
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This piece can be interpreted both metaphorically and literally. The speaker wants to freed from her thoughts and goes to extreme measures in order to gain that sense of liberation. In the end, she realizes that she may have made the wrong choice, and perhaps, living in fear and being stuck with herself would have been the less painful option.