Marielle's Dance | Teen Ink

Marielle's Dance MAG

June 22, 2009
By Maria Carlos BRONZE, Columbia, Missouri
Maria Carlos BRONZE, Columbia, Missouri
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

She capers across the living room carpet,
hands tracing an intricate pattern in the air
as her feet crisscross on the floor.
I try to ignore her best I can,
my nose shoved stubbornly
in the centerfold of a magazine,
but I see her out of the corner of my eye,
twirling, dancing, flying.
My little sister,
almost an exact replica of me,
except that from every orifice of her body
seeps an incandescent glow.
She slips from my fingertips,
leaping lazy figure-eights
around and ’round and ’round.
She prances across the Milky Way
in long grand jetés,
toes pointed, legs straight,
arms out and up and open
in a wide, graceful U.
She swings on Saturn’s rings
as if crossing rusty monkey bars,
then soars from star to star
until leaping up in an arc
and descending down
toward Neptune,
in a cannonball to the sea.
She floats on her back
catching her breath slowly
and then rises to begin again.
She dances, dances, dances
back to me from across the galaxy
until she is inches from my hands.
I reach out to her and beg

“Take me with you.
Take me to the edge of the sky
where up is down
and falling is flying,
where time is timeless
and hide-and-seek
never ends.”

She smiles in pity and says nothing,
immersed in her dance,
twirling in and out of sight,
following a labyrinthine path only she can see,
dodging the couches and the coffee table.
I watch her hair move like a shadow,
dark as a vacant night
until the lamplight latches on
and illuminates the strands like shooting stars;
all the while, I sit back
wondering when the moment passed
that I lost my courage to dance.

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This article has 14 comments.

on Nov. 30 2014 at 8:07 am
Ray--yo PLATINUM, Kathmandu, Other
43 articles 2 photos 581 comments

Favorite Quote:
God Makes No Mistakes. (Gaga?)
"I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right." -Liesel Meminger via Markus Zusac, "The Book Thief"

Beautiful, I can relate so much. I'm adding it to my favourites, thank you for this poem. :)

on Sep. 4 2009 at 6:48 pm
costarican93 GOLD, Washington, Louisiana
14 articles 0 photos 33 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The city looks so pretty do you want to burn it with me?"- Hollywood Undead


Thats all i can really say.

You've left me SPEECHLESS!!!!!!!


Jennax3 SILVER said...
on Aug. 19 2009 at 3:47 pm
Jennax3 SILVER, Palos Verdes Estates, California
6 articles 0 photos 113 comments
I'm just awed at how you captured EXACTLY my sister and I. Naturally, she's the dancer, and I'm the one who cannot dance. And this is beautifully poetic... your descriptions are outstanding.

Congrats on the publication!

HEYkenz BRONZE said...
on Jul. 31 2009 at 3:57 am
HEYkenz BRONZE, Walnut Creek, California
1 article 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You can not teach love."-Someone very special to me

You have a talent my friend! that was shocking! (:

on Jul. 27 2009 at 7:58 am
messie.egghead SILVER, Fayetteville, Georgia
7 articles 0 photos 18 comments
this is amazing.

Duckie430 said...
on Jul. 24 2009 at 5:56 pm
Duckie430, Riverside, Rhode Island
0 articles 0 photos 228 comments

Favorite Quote:
“The secret to life is being who you are and being happy with who you are.”
"Whatever does not kill you only makes you stronger."

wow, absolutely amazing.

LIKEwhoaa GOLD said...
on Jul. 18 2009 at 6:23 pm
LIKEwhoaa GOLD, Carrollton, Texas
13 articles 0 photos 126 comments

Favorite Quote:
The important thing is this: To be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.
-Charles DuBois

that was beautiful! it reminds me of the song "drops of jupiter" if you've never heard it i would check it out:) GREAT job <3

on Jul. 17 2009 at 4:35 pm
yourworstnightmare BRONZE, Sioux Falls, South Dakota
4 articles 0 photos 96 comments

Favorite Quote:
The best prize that life offers is the chance to work hard at work worth doing. (Teddy Roosevelt)

whoa...beautiful! :) I loved the end.

AnnHenn SILVER said...
on Jun. 28 2009 at 1:29 am
AnnHenn SILVER, Falling Waters, West Virginia
5 articles 1 photo 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
The way to gain a good reputation is to endeavor to be as you desire to appear.

totally amazing!! perfect.

on Jun. 26 2009 at 2:45 am
hbananabread93 GOLD, Lyons, Pennsylvania
11 articles 4 photos 69 comments

Favorite Quote:
it is what it is
dance like EVERYBODY is watching

wow! this piece is truly amazing, and I can connect to it, and I just completely loved it! congrats on writing a truly amazing poem.

IanG. SILVER said...
on Jun. 24 2009 at 9:52 pm
IanG. SILVER, Gainesville, Florida
8 articles 0 photos 9 comments
amazing. 5 stars!

on Jun. 23 2009 at 2:23 am
xxlaurenxx BRONZE, Liberty, Missouri
1 article 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
Smile. Less questions asked.

This is amazing. You captured all the joys of childhood in words, something nearly impossible to do. This peice of work makes you want to go back in time. Keep writing, you're really good.

on Jun. 22 2009 at 7:07 pm
ShernayB. DIAMOND, Southfield, Michigan
62 articles 1 photo 881 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Some things will never change"---Tupac

This is very good. It shows that you have envy in your little sister? I like that. Although envy is one of the seven deadly sins, this is still beautiful. Good job!

on Jun. 22 2009 at 6:40 pm
despurlock DIAMOND, Morgantown, West Virginia
79 articles 0 photos 179 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The heart has its reasons which reason does not know." -Pascal, Pensees, 1670

Wow! That was phenomenal! I am speechless now, however that was fantastic! I loved the way your poetry sucks the reader in, and I could see your little sister dancing all the while. This is really a great piece, I can't wait to read more from you! Please check out some of my poems and let me know what you think! Thanks!