Who am I to you?

What significance do I have?

Any at all?

What don't I have that she does?

Is it the sway in her step that entices all eyes around her?

Her eyes of piercing emerald that even the sun itself can't help but gaze into

When you look into those eyes, do you feel guilty?

Why won't you love me?

Treating me like your guilty pleasure 

Afraid to admit it

Ashamed to be seen with it 

Disgusted with yourself that you fein for it

A guilty pleasure

It all starts with a taste

Something you never thought you would experience

The flavor portrays notes of salt and bitters with hints of trauma-filled herbs

But for some reason that taste was addictive 

And now that you've had it you constantly desire it

The thrill is fun, never a dull moment with it in your system

But as addiction builds, so does your conscience 

Chills start to crawl down your spine

Your skin flushes a sickly pale tone throughout your face

The guilt starts to sink in, like a burn to the skin

You try to stop but it keeps pulling you down to square one

“I never meant to get addicted”

“I didn't realize how much it's hurting me”

“Why does it have so much power over me”

You itch with anger

Picking at your skin, rapidly scratching it off of you

You crave with intensity 

The craving will never leave you alone, it's forever with you now

You start to question why you crave

You dig and dig to find why

You come to find you crave something broken

Something adrenaline-rushing and unstable

Something you can destroy and rebuild again like your childhood Lego set

Something that will never leave you before you leave them

Stick around like a seasonal cold sore.
Something you know you shouldn't have but you can't seem to let go of 

A guilty pleasure

I lie awake at night remembering your touch

Like muscle memory, it's engraved in my everyday 

I wonder how you're doing with her 

How can she be all pleasure when I was all guilt

Why was I chosen as your guilty pleasure

Why am I broken and bruised 

Why don't I catch your eye as I walk past 

I only ever got looks of secrecy with you

And when she walks you walk next to her

How was that possible when you did all you could to never be seen with me?

Oh I remember, silly me

Just a guilty pleasure.