At a young age

i learned to shut up,
and let the words hit and bruise me.

i learned to let them break my umbrella
during a heavy storm.

i learned to escape my body experience
while i was being pinned down

i learned to disengage while someone was holding onto parts of me that weren't theirs to touch.

i learned to look at the boy miles away while you caviled

i learned to remember to forget
that i learned to run before i learned to crawl.

i learned to stitch and sow
fore my heart was about to decay.

i learned to keep your fire going
while i was trying not to shiver.

i learned that people are so cruel
and that's why you find rotting bodies at the river.

i learned to look back
because they were always hiding in my shadows.

i learned how to make the shapes and faces i saw disappear
and i did it with a big smile.