time passes and life goes on.

the earth is still in orbit and the days are still flying by.

yet somehow i am stuck.

im stuck in 2020

im stuck as an eleven-year-old.

i am stuck as a middle schooler.

i am stuck as a kid.

i am stuck.

i am stuck.

i am stuck.

i am stuck.

i am stuck.

my world has stopped orbiting and time has stopped passing.

everyday feels like the exact same cycle of absolutely nothing.

im stuck being not thin enough,

not thin enough,

not pretty enough,

not good enough,

not funny enough,

not quite enough,

not loud enough,

not fun enough,

not nice enough,

not enough of anything.

time goes on

but im stuck feeling like a twelve-year-old girl crying because she wasn’t invited to a party.

im stuck feeling like my parents are ashamed of me.

im stuck feeling like i have to parent my parents.

im stuck feeling like i will never ever be good enough

for you,

or them,

or him,

or her,

or anyone.

time passes and life goes on

but i am stuck feeling like a worthless nobody.

i am frozen in time.

and all i want is to go back in time

and rewrite my story

as absolutely anyone but who i am.