There are many days i wake up, look around, and remember that I'm back at my dads. So many nights I stay up thinking, I'm always sad. Throughout the year I will feel i can no longer take this madness. Then i remember its only just begun, and for this month all i will feel is September sadness. At the end of every week I fill with excitement but stay calm. Waiting to get back to my dads so i can go home to my moms. The enjoyment is less and less each time now when i visit. The feeling i had is gone now that he is not there when i open that basement door. To hide my frustration I'm horrible at it. Missing him hurts worse and worse but it only the beginning and I'm stuck in September sadness. The year will race on, and September will end, but it doesn't really matter the amount of months that go by because the sadness i feel from being here and forced to miss him couldn't kill me that much more it plays like a lifetime series in my head. I feel so ripped up and beaten down its too bad if i coulda been better i might have had him. he's the only thing on my mind but again its only the beginning and im dealing with September sadness