The moment I knew
I existed
was in time to
arrive
at School.

I am four
and a half
at a moment too brass to describe
how I am
at the present rule.

My hair was not brown
chocolate,
bark,
oh no no.
It was still golden, like a striving sun.

My dress is white, with greenish leaves.
Tacky leaves,
sunken leaves,
oval in the California sun.

I see children walking by,
playing by,
running by,
and I realize that I am not them.

I hide behind my mother's dress
(back when she wore dresses)
and realize,
these are
MY fingers.
This is MY strength.
My choice to hide, white fabric
(like mine)
in my clutches.

That was when the sun
ran away,
called the rain
to embrace me all the same
and cause my
hair
to darken.