Can You...? | Teen Ink

Can You...?

January 18, 2010
By ofpaintedroses GOLD, Berne, Indiana
ofpaintedroses GOLD, Berne, Indiana
12 articles 0 photos 82 comments

Favorite Quote:
"How long is forever?"
"Sometimes just one second."


the sun is shining?
can you see it?
can you feel it?
i can not,
my life is chaos,
a storm not to be underestimated.
The rain begins to pour,
tears from the orbs that are my soul,
the pain burns bright in my eyes.
thunder rumbles across te skies,
my body is shaking.
can you see it?
can you feel it?
I can not,
my life is ending.
standing on the cliff's edge,
the wind blows weakly,
i can scarcely breathe.
Day turns suddenly to night,
there is no moon,
i close my eyes.
can you see it?
can you feel it?
Lightning cracks,
the planet engulfed in flames,
my heart is shattered.
the rain lets up,
my tears fall silently now.
the clouds break,
the sun leaks out false happiness,
in the distance,
coming closer...
the storm waits.
" I love you."
Lightning cracks,
thunder rumbles.
Rain pours,
and my heart shatters.
Again...
Please...let me go.
give me peace with my last breath,
I love YOU.
The storm dies,
he's left with the corpse of the one he loved.
Now he's got a storm of his own,
and the cycle repeats itself.

P.S. I'd give up forever to hold you.


The author's comments:
this poem...is the result of boredom and defiance, i didnt want to listen to my teacher rmble so i started writing.
Um, it's a girl talking to a guy.
She's in the dark, asking if he can see the sun. the storm thing...she's putting each aspect of her pain to a part of the 'storm' that she says her life is. i think thats the best explaination i could give.
sorry.

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This article has 12 comments.


on Aug. 27 2012 at 7:31 am
ofpaintedroses GOLD, Berne, Indiana
12 articles 0 photos 82 comments

Favorite Quote:
"How long is forever?"
"Sometimes just one second."

Thanks Blue :D

on Aug. 26 2012 at 5:37 pm
BlueSunset BRONZE, Barcelona, Other
3 articles 0 photos 79 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"- Dr. Seuss

Amazed! :D

on Mar. 5 2012 at 10:39 am
ofpaintedroses GOLD, Berne, Indiana
12 articles 0 photos 82 comments

Favorite Quote:
"How long is forever?"
"Sometimes just one second."

thank you so much (:

on Mar. 5 2012 at 10:38 am
ofpaintedroses GOLD, Berne, Indiana
12 articles 0 photos 82 comments

Favorite Quote:
"How long is forever?"
"Sometimes just one second."

thank you! sorry took so long to reply but i havnt been on in ages

on Apr. 25 2011 at 11:57 am
ofpaintedroses GOLD, Berne, Indiana
12 articles 0 photos 82 comments

Favorite Quote:
"How long is forever?"
"Sometimes just one second."

thanks guys!!(:

on Apr. 13 2011 at 10:33 am
elmosoreo SILVER, Paducah, Kentucky
8 articles 2 photos 37 comments

Favorite Quote:
Oftentimes we say goodbye to the person we love without wanting to. Though that doesn’t mean that we've stopped loving them or we've stopped to care. Sometimes goodbye is a painful way to say I love you....

Love it!! :)

on Apr. 13 2011 at 9:46 am
Beachgirl1 PLATINUM, Bellevue, Washington
32 articles 4 photos 178 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If You Don't Fight Back, You've Already Lost."
"Don't suppress Laughter, it goes to your thighs."

this is beautiful! it makes me want to cry, I loved it. 

on Jun. 1 2010 at 7:45 am
josiebelle SILVER, Waterford, Other
7 articles 0 photos 26 comments
i liked the imagery you used it worked really well as a metaphor and i think everyone has been head over heels for a guy who didnt know it at some stage!!

on May. 7 2010 at 7:54 am
HeatherBee BRONZE, I Live In, Texas
1 article 0 photos 1979 comments

Favorite Quote:
Go on and try to tear me down. I will be rising from the ground, like a skyscraper

Love is louder than the pressure to be perfect

ooh ur good. that was an awesome poem. good voicee

on Feb. 11 2010 at 9:32 am
gymnast101 BRONZE, Nottingham, Maryland
3 articles 1 photo 24 comments
HaHa. It doesn't matter, it's still really good

on Feb. 10 2010 at 3:12 pm
ofpaintedroses GOLD, Berne, Indiana
12 articles 0 photos 82 comments

Favorite Quote:
"How long is forever?"
"Sometimes just one second."

thanks! pretty pathetic tho, that almost all of these are for this guy Brandon. and he doesnt even know it...

on Feb. 2 2010 at 5:10 pm
gymnast101 BRONZE, Nottingham, Maryland
3 articles 1 photo 24 comments
Wow! Very good!