i lie on blankets
under a sky
of years gone by
watching re-runs of summer calendar days
and wondering:

How long will it take
to make
myself new again ?

this patchwork quilt below me
stained with blood, art, poetry
my cracked and aching history
blinding my eyes
from the first time
we met

this world
this fragmented world
has burrowed deep into my dreams
and made it impossible to do something
so simple as
to Hope

years of hurt etched into
a worn-out heart
tired eyes
cracked smiles bleed
and try to laugh
try to pave roads from me
to you

will you forgive ? whenever i don't trust you ?
because you know, i learn from experience
and old wounds open again, all too easily.
will you be patient ? when i take too much time ?
time to patch up the holes of a heart, long-broken
ever-aching

will you love ? when all i want to do is run
as far as i can from you and me
so as to protect myself
from something so tragically beautiful

will you love ? when all i want to do is run ?

or will you watch me go, cross out my name,
cover fading footsteps to all our favorite places,
and whisper to no one
how sad it is
that someone like me
has been broken

beyond repair ?