Digging Through the Darkness | Teen Ink

Digging Through the Darkness MAG

April 2, 2010
By Llbid BRONZE, Littleton, Colorado
Llbid BRONZE, Littleton, Colorado
3 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
I say violence is necessary. It is as American as cherry pie.
-Hubert Geroid Brown


Quietly,
I lean against the bristly fabric
your armchair has to offer,
silently sweating off the pounds of make-up
covering my stress lines, my bruises,
my fears.

You poke and prod at me,
trying to figure me out like a puzzle,
trying to force me to let you
swim through the black waters
that bathe my thoughts in darkness,
not yet realizing that you would drown
in its misery the second
you dipped your pale toes in it.

Timidly I shake my head,
refusing to say a word,
the effect of your everlasting glare
falling apart as your glasses slip down your crooked nose.

Further, I shrug back into
the crevice of your chair,
nails clawing nervously
at my forearms buried
in the warmth of my hoodie.

You drop your gaze and stare down
at the blank page in your notebook
and smugly, my grin widens knowing
you will walk away empty-handed,
no matter how lengthy a time
you trap me within these colorless walls.

Your head jerks up,
eyes thinning into slits.
Drop it, you spit.
You're not a great actress.
Throw away your empty act.

My expression hardens,
my emotions becoming beyond edgy.
I'm not acting. I practically growl.

I gnaw away at my chapped lips,
welcoming in the bitter, steady flow of
blood.

You lecture me in the faults of liars,
me nodding every now and then,
knowing I don't give a care,
you letting your words waste away.

I savor the silence in between the classic lectures
of safety and self esteem that are given to every little girl
in hopes to save her rotting soul,
from digging herself farther down the rabbit hole
of the deranged bunny.

You drone on,
your words blurring together as I block you out,
my attention fading back to the ones I love,

and all conscious thoughts shut down,
my mind preferring the precious numbness
of silence
to your scolding.



Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 11 comments.


on Nov. 10 2011 at 9:27 am
TheCapturedBat GOLD, Belen, New Mexico
12 articles 0 photos 88 comments

Favorite Quote:
If all else perished and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger.
-- Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights

this poem conveys such unbearable tension. it has such a sharp, intense atmosphere. i have never had to see a therapist, but i have been threatened with it now and then.  

Llbid BRONZE said...
on Oct. 21 2010 at 9:51 pm
Llbid BRONZE, Littleton, Colorado
3 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
I say violence is necessary. It is as American as cherry pie.
-Hubert Geroid Brown

I dont know if your teacher would let you but if she would and you wanted to go ahead. im glad it had meaning to you (;

on Oct. 21 2010 at 4:58 pm
Allison101 BRONZE, Milwaukee/Wauwatosa, Wisconsin
4 articles 5 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
Love doesn't make the world go round, it just makes the ride enjoyable. -Franklin P. Jones

This is completely an amazing peom. If you don't mind, I would love to use this for a class. WE have to bring in a poem that has meaning to us and this means a lot to me. I would love to give credit to you, but I don't know if my teacher would let me use your Teenink account...

Great work, though!


cmore PLATINUM said...
on Oct. 7 2010 at 12:52 pm
cmore PLATINUM, North Vancouver, Other
20 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Why do I dance? Why do you breathe?"

Sorry I don't know why it re-posted half my comment :/

cmore PLATINUM said...
on Oct. 7 2010 at 12:50 pm
cmore PLATINUM, North Vancouver, Other
20 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Why do I dance? Why do you breathe?"

I know that sometimes you feel like therapists are just trying to dig through your head and stare at all your private thoughts and sometimes you shut yourself off because you don't want to let them in, but trust me all they're trying to do is help. I think you should find a new therapist that you can actually open up to, because believe it or not, when you open up it really helps. I have seen two therapists in my lfe, and I was lucky enough to really connect with both of them. When we had a breakthrough of realizing why I was doing wht I was doing, it was amazing and the things they said really helped me. I'm sorry I'm writing such a huge essay here but I'm just trying to help cause it sounds like you and your therapist are not the right match for each other.

Let me know what you decide, I think it would really be worth it for you to find a new therapist.

Just some thoughts, please take a look at my work hope you like it:)


Llbid BRONZE said...
on May. 13 2010 at 5:34 pm
Llbid BRONZE, Littleton, Colorado
3 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
I say violence is necessary. It is as American as cherry pie.
-Hubert Geroid Brown

good to kno I'm not alone haha

on May. 12 2010 at 9:16 pm
sparkofheart GOLD, Plymouth, Minnesota
16 articles 2 photos 253 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Always" - Severus Snape

oh wow that sucks :( im feeling your pain

Llbid BRONZE said...
on May. 12 2010 at 4:38 pm
Llbid BRONZE, Littleton, Colorado
3 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
I say violence is necessary. It is as American as cherry pie.
-Hubert Geroid Brown

haha thank : ) my shrinks ticked off because he can't figure out what's wrong with me

on May. 9 2010 at 6:38 pm
sparkofheart GOLD, Plymouth, Minnesota
16 articles 2 photos 253 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Always" - Severus Snape

wow. ive currently been forced to see a therapist/shrink. you hit the nail right on the head lol! great work i loved it :)

Llbid BRONZE said...
on Apr. 20 2010 at 4:24 pm
Llbid BRONZE, Littleton, Colorado
3 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
I say violence is necessary. It is as American as cherry pie.
-Hubert Geroid Brown

Thanks!!! Haha yeah it a shrink. I haven't really had much fun with them.

on Apr. 20 2010 at 11:27 am
kissingdarkness SILVER, Mill Creek, Oklahoma
7 articles 0 photos 64 comments

Favorite Quote:
lets see............ be yourself

its realy good          its seems like in this poem u r seeing a shirk or a father figure     is that it or am i wrong