Can I Question Him? | Teen Ink

Can I Question Him?

April 28, 2010
By CarolynQ GOLD, Manalapan, New Jersey
CarolynQ GOLD, Manalapan, New Jersey
10 articles 0 photos 220 comments

I ask him why… it’s a reoccurring question, why?
I look up, tears glowing from the light of the sky.
I repeat, re-ask him why, do you even care that I cry?
Those tears streaming down my cheeks now I ask him “Why can’t you let me die?”
Why, why, what does life have to offer to me, do I offend you, do I offend?
I gave him a chance, he gave me no sign, let my life end.
Why do these bad things happen, do I have to pretend?
No more fake smiles, I’ll just wait no hand to lend.
Here I am left denied, deserted, and alone.
The pressure hasn’t subsided its only grown.
Why am I being yelled at, why use that tone?
Why kick me when I’m down, why throw that stone?
I can’t live if I can no longer believe you.
Why am I still here, do you know what I want to do?
Why do I feel this pain, do you understand what I’ve gone through?
If you did I’m sure you would be asking why too.
Why blend my words, why twist what I do and say?
Why turn my world all foggy and gray?
I’m done with life, it doesn’t want me anyways.
Why do I end up asking why when I’m in a daze?
Here I am asking why, but it’s over, don’t answer me.
Why answer now if you never answered the many, if you never answered any.
I’m here, left to fall into the fatal hands of what I feel is destiny.
Now when I take my life into my own hands I hope you’re ready.



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This article has 23 comments.


CarolynQ GOLD said...
on Apr. 20 2012 at 1:24 pm
CarolynQ GOLD, Manalapan, New Jersey
10 articles 0 photos 220 comments
thanks :) I'm sorry I haven't responded I haven't been on here a lot..

on Dec. 8 2011 at 7:26 am
Meaghan_Elise BRONZE, Franklin, New Hampshire
1 article 74 photos 139 comments

Favorite Quote:
The world will not be destroyed by those who do evil, but by those who watch them without doing anything..

This is so emotional and beautiful.. I love it!!<3 Your work is amazing(:

hopelovepain said...
on Jun. 22 2011 at 11:17 pm
hopelovepain, Maplewood, New Jersey
0 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
The ones who say they love us are the ones that hurt us the most.

That makes sense, but you should fix the its/it's still imho. 

CarolynQ GOLD said...
on Jun. 21 2011 at 1:42 pm
CarolynQ GOLD, Manalapan, New Jersey
10 articles 0 photos 220 comments
I try to bend grammar to fit my style haha I don't like applying rules to writing, its sort of just another way of conforming to what is wanted, but thankyou and I'm glad you liked my piece :)

hopelovepain said...
on Jun. 21 2011 at 1:14 pm
hopelovepain, Maplewood, New Jersey
0 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
The ones who say they love us are the ones that hurt us the most.

Wonderful, truly wonderful. A few small things (all optional, of course) to change (changed version written) - "I'll just wait - no hand to lend" "The pressure hasn't subsided, it's only grown." "If you did I'm sure you would be asking why, too." "Why answer now ... answered any?" "Now.. hands, I hope you're ready."

 

All of these are just grammar things but most are still personal choice. Beautiful work - good luck and keep writing! (: 


CarolynQ GOLD said...
on Jun. 19 2011 at 5:09 pm
CarolynQ GOLD, Manalapan, New Jersey
10 articles 0 photos 220 comments
Thanks so much <3 :)

CarolynQ GOLD said...
on Jun. 19 2011 at 5:08 pm
CarolynQ GOLD, Manalapan, New Jersey
10 articles 0 photos 220 comments
Yeah, I've finally conquered my battles with the pain and depression, listen if you ever need somebody I am always willing to give a listen :) You aren't alone, it's a difficult battle but you can beat it!

on Jun. 18 2011 at 4:16 pm
myLovelyFather GOLD, Grand Rapids, Michigan
17 articles 0 photos 55 comments

Favorite Quote:
And that&#039;s the thing about the future. It&#039;s unknown, unknowable, but before you know it, you&#039;re there.

Yeah, I'm going though that kind of phase, too. So I guess its not only questioning God, as is the title, but also yourself, whether you're testing your strength, your faith, your will. It is kind of seeing what lengths you would go before collapsing under the pain and giving in to what Satan wants so he can keep you under. I feel the same, and so do many others.

on Jun. 18 2011 at 1:17 am
itskaylee. BRONZE, Pawleys Island, South Carolina
3 articles 7 photos 12 comments
I instantly felt the pain. This poem is so powerful! I think we've all had that moment where we question Him...I love the way it flows when read aloud! <3

CarolynQ GOLD said...
on Jun. 17 2011 at 4:10 pm
CarolynQ GOLD, Manalapan, New Jersey
10 articles 0 photos 220 comments
It's about a loss of faith, I'm talking about how I'm suffering and asking God for help, but he gives no offerings and lightens none of my burdens leaving me to feel the pain- but his lack of answering me causes me to question whether or not he is real, it also makes me question if maybe as a god he controls my pain and inflicts it on me as well. Finally it talks of entire loss of faith and a possibility of taking my own life. It was a very deep poem, I was going through a hard time.

CarolynQ GOLD said...
on Jun. 17 2011 at 4:01 pm
CarolynQ GOLD, Manalapan, New Jersey
10 articles 0 photos 220 comments
Thankyou, yeah I thought about changing the line, but in the end it made the piece less of what it is.. I loved saying it outloud and once I fell in love with the way it pored out of my mouth I couldn't go back and edit it out. :) I appreciate it!

on Jun. 17 2011 at 12:03 pm
myLovelyFather GOLD, Grand Rapids, Michigan
17 articles 0 photos 55 comments

Favorite Quote:
And that&#039;s the thing about the future. It&#039;s unknown, unknowable, but before you know it, you&#039;re there.

Yes, this is a bit like my, 'the Illustrator,' but I have to admit this is more deep and harder to comprehend. But that is a good thing! It's easy to understand the view of this, as so many things in this world are messed up and so courage and endurance has to be stronger than ever. From this, I get that you understand how the people in the world have done the wrong things that they've done - whether it be actual suicide or just a misfortune - yet you know they're wrong and don't forgive unless its of means, and you don't pretend that it's something better than it actually is. That's what I gather from this, but let me know if I'm drawing the wrong impression! Sweet! much<3love

on Jun. 14 2011 at 11:16 pm
SecretFlame PLATINUM, Portland, Oregon
20 articles 1 photo 373 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I have a life. I just choose to ignore it.&quot;<br /> -one of my friends

Very deep and very good. There was one line when it says "Why, why, what does life have to offer to me, do I offend you, do I offend" The double use of "do I offend" is a little akward, but that's all the critique I can give. You're a great writer!

on Aug. 24 2010 at 7:43 pm
This was too good. I'm jealous of how great of a writer you are. <3

CarolynQ GOLD said...
on Aug. 18 2010 at 12:04 am
CarolynQ GOLD, Manalapan, New Jersey
10 articles 0 photos 220 comments
:) ! ! ! its all in the imagery...  hehehee

on Aug. 10 2010 at 6:43 pm
MustangWriter1813 PLATINUM, Crooks, South Dakota
45 articles 7 photos 128 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot; No one can told you back besides yourself &quot; MaKayla Claymore class of 2013

I have a new story out called Im just going to end it all check it out when you have a chance! Comment and rate it for me

Han15 BRONZE said...
on Aug. 10 2010 at 2:52 pm
Han15 BRONZE, Doncaster, Other
1 article 0 photos 34 comments
:) great! I really like the line, "tears glowing from the light of the sky." Keep it up!

CarolynQ GOLD said...
on Jul. 18 2010 at 6:00 pm
CarolynQ GOLD, Manalapan, New Jersey
10 articles 0 photos 220 comments
thankyou.. its about things that have touched my life.

on Jul. 17 2010 at 6:34 pm
crubs33 DIAMOND, Lido Beach, New York
58 articles 3 photos 750 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud.&quot;- Coco Chanel<br /> Life isn&#039;t about surviving the storm, it&#039;s about learning to dance in the rain.

Wow this is really good!!! its not about you tho rite??....

CarolynQ GOLD said...
on Jun. 7 2010 at 2:14 pm
CarolynQ GOLD, Manalapan, New Jersey
10 articles 0 photos 220 comments
I really appreciate it thankyou and ill take a look at it now !