Every single day.
You pick me out
of the crowd and criticize me.
You yell at me.
Get on to me for setting
whenever I’m not the setter.
Yelling at me for not covering tips.
Raising your voice
when I don’t get off the net or block.
You never yell at anyone but me.
If you do then I must be looking
at the wrong spot at the right moment.
I must be totally clueless
if I couldn’t hear you shouting.
Everyone else is perfect.
Or you make it seem like they are.
Like they never make mistakes.
But I know they do.
I’ve seen them stumble
and fall because of their mistakes.
But you don’t notice.
You only notice me.
Am I so imperfect
and a horrible volleyball player
that you have to analyze every little detail
I do and criticize every one of them?
Or do you pick me out
and fix my imperfections
because you know I can be great.
Because you want to help me succeed.
Because you think I might actually have talent?
But I doubt this.
It seems like you have no faith in me.
And it seems like I’m never good enough.
How did I make the team this past year if that’s true?
Were they just letting me play
because they couldn’t fill the spot?
Or did I really stand out against others?
People have told me I’m a good player
and I hope these remarks are true.
But you,
mister,
make me think other wise.
Sometimes I want to give up
my love for the sport because of you.
But if I did that id completely fall apart.
Volleyball is the only place I can get my
hurt,
anger,
sadness,
and pain out.
The on place I can release everything inside me
and not think.
So I can’t give it up no matter what,
but I don’t want to either.
Its just you that I have a problem with.