I'm Just Going To End It All | Teen Ink

I'm Just Going To End It All

August 4, 2010
By MustangWriter1813 PLATINUM, Crooks, South Dakota
MustangWriter1813 PLATINUM, Crooks, South Dakota
45 articles 7 photos 128 comments

Favorite Quote:
" No one can told you back besides yourself " MaKayla Claymore class of 2013

Just six months ago everything seemed fine.
But now my world is crumbling all around me.
Everywhere I turn I hurt someone.
They say they are sorry, but what are they sorry for?
They don’t know what I’m going through.
They don’t know about the pain I’m feeling right now.

I use to be a good kid but not anymore.
Because under the honor roll student,
The perfect son, the star quarterback of the football team,
Lies a trigger happy, 18 year old, high school senior. With a gun
In one hand, and a goodbye letter in the other.
That’s my true identity. I figured that no one
Would miss me so what the hell. The drastic steps
I’ve taken were just an act of desperation.

I waiting for something, I just don’t
Know what. Maybe it’s that storm rolling in
From the west. Anger is held up in my chest.
My heart filled with pain. An uphill battle, nothing
To gain, and everything to loose. I’ve hold
You everything loud and clear, but nobody’s listing.
I’ve hurt everyone I’ve ever touched.
And it’s hard to tell how much I’ve hurt you.
So I’m just going to end it all.
This is just goodbye

The storm is here, I’m ready for it to take me away.
Because tonight everything comes to an abrupt end.
It’s too late for me to apologize for all the wrong I did.
I know I lied and drank too much. I’m starting to wonder
Why I’m still here and not there. I’m becoming what I can’t be.
My heart starts to break. I let the last of my tears fall. I turn the gun
Over in my hand, taking a deep breath, looking into the darkness.
Dad’s words ringing through my head “We don’t get to choose how we
Die, but we can choose how we live.”
I just want all of it to end
I held the gun up to my head.
And pulled the trigger
And then everything went black
Maybe it all ended to soon or maybe it
Was the right time for it all to end.

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This article has 3 comments.

angelinaaa10 said...
on Aug. 29 2010 at 6:12 am
angelinaaa10, Haleiwa, Hawaii
0 articles 22 photos 27 comments
holy shit, this blew my mind. your good, keep writing :)

CarolynQ GOLD said...
on Aug. 11 2010 at 10:47 pm
CarolynQ GOLD, Manalapan, New Jersey
10 articles 0 photos 220 comments
To be honest, its very to the point, i like it.   dark, expressive, and deep.. i like how you used a quote and showed how he was wrong. wow. very real, very very revealing, keep suprising me, i love your work.

Babylufin GOLD said...
on Aug. 11 2010 at 5:40 pm
Babylufin GOLD, Liberal, Missouri
13 articles 2 photos 229 comments

Favorite Quote:
"'For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11. Thank you Lord, for this future you've given me.

This is in so many ways reality...and it's sad.

A few type-o's, but it's still VERY good. :) Good job!