I sit in the rain
Letting it pound me into the ground
Each drop absorbed into my skin
Down my shoulder blades
On my face
Dripping and slicing me
Into a million pieces

I want to let it wash me…
Wash my eyes
Cleanse this lens I see myself through
Where I can only find the imperfections
Where I can only compare myself to something I’ll never become
Each flaw
Each blemish
Each mistake
Being wished away hoping they will disappear

I want to let it wash the past…
Making it disappear so that I don’t have to run from it anymore
Each scar
Each sin
Each problem
That I cover up and pretend doesn’t exist

The rain slaps the pavement around me
Bouncing to a rhythm that reminds me of my own battles
Where I have been beat
Down
So I’ll lift my face and let the drops replace the tears I’m too afraid to shed

And I allow it to wash away all of the
Scars
Bitterness
Pain
Struggles
Lies
Fears

And when the sun peaks out from his hiding place behind the clouds
I will too.
And I’ll fall back into the same patterns
The same mistakes
The same sins
That the life I have created for myself demands me to commit

And pray that the rain doesn’t take as long to come back the next time.