I am terrified
Terrified that no one will see through
My mask
And if they do
It'll be too late
I am terrified
Of losing you
Or any of my friends
To drugs or self harm or
Suicide
I am terrified
That one day I'll wake
And the amnesia won't pass
I'll forget everything
I am terrified
That I don't want to eat
That I'm starving myself
And can't stop
I'm at the point
Where I only eat to stay alive
And sometimes I think twice about that
I am terrified
That my friends secretly hate me
Am I the one
No one likes?
I am terrified
That the balancing act I call life
Will come crashing down
That I'll succumb
To the silky seduction of self harm
I am terrified
Of death, yet sometimes crave it
I don't want to die
I want to die
A terrible see saw I can't escape
I am terrified
That I am nothing
My only good trait
Is my writing
I am terrified
My heart won't heal
It hurts so very much
I am terrified
That I don't have much reason
To get up in the morning anymore
I am terrified
That one day
All my secrets will be out in the open
Ready to be picked apart
By judgmental eyes
I'm terrified
Does that make me a coward?