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Time to Heal
You try to block out the sounds
Their laughter brings only more pain
You slip off to your dark room, alone
With just the cold and the rain
You shut the door behind you
Don’t bother to turn on a light
You press your face to the window
Gaze out at the water-filled night
The tears you could hide no longer
Drop like frozen stones from your eyes
You dash them away in anger
Not wanting their comforting lies
They tell you you’re hurt, alone and afraid
They tell you your sorrow is real
They tell you that you have a reason to cry
They give you a fake way to heal
Each new tear leaves fresh scars
That tremble wet on your face
Every droplet of despair
Betrays your thoughts as you pace
You hate the lies, the emotions
Hate the things that make you cry
You know there’s no reason save your sin
For the tears that question why
Envy, hurt, and loneliness
A feeling of selfish desire
Spill out with teardrops of ice
And scald you with loathly fire
They tell you you’re hurt, alone and afraid
They tell you your sorrow is real
They tell you that you have a reason to cry
They give you a fake way to heal
Yelling inside, you reject them
Angry for feeling what you hate
Why can’t you be like the others?
Why can’t you sit silent and wait?
The envy you feel tries to crush you
And yet you don’t want the desire
You don’t want that jealous heart
You want to reject the harsh fire
You turn from the rain-drenched window
Brush the last hateful tears from your eyes
You push the emotions back down
Turn your back on the tears and the lies
You know you’re not hurt, alone, or afraid
You know that your sorrow’s not real
You know that you have no reason to cry
You know there’s no fake way to heal
Back down in the lights and the laughter
Your hair hides the scars on your face
Scars of old tears that still threaten
Tears that your eyes yet encase
For although you’re not hurt, alone, or afraid
Although your sorrow’s not real
Although you know you’ve no reason to cry
Your heart still needs time to heal
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This article has 27 comments.
I really wish that you had puntuation . . . It really adds so much to a poem. Many of these lines should be end-stopped, but aren't.
I don't really want to go piece by piece to work with you on this (sorry, but even 5 stanzas is extremely exhausting) so I will just give overall advice.
#1--please puntuacte! There is almost nothing as grating to me as seening a piece with no puntuation--or worse, commas but no periods (I did write a piece once with only 1 period, but I ended every stanza with a semicolon, so that still counts). To me, seeing punctuationless poetry is exactly like seeing punctuationless prose--and it is as hard to fix grammatical mistakes in prose without puntuation as it is to fix stylistic issues in poetry without it.
Quick overview: stanza 3, ln 1 "The tears you could no longer hide" fits the meter a little better. Stanza 5 is a metrical trainwreck. Stanza 6, line 2--I would take out that "hate" and add "little" after "the." "save your sin" is pretty awkward"
stanza 7-- I'm sure there's a better word than "loathly"stanza 10, ln 3 doesn't seem to have enough syllables.
Excellent poetry, but I really wish it was puntuated . . . so many pieces on TeenInk are not puntuated , but how many professional pieces are puntuatonless?
You don't usually write poetry?
Pshh. Your like amazing!
Your rhyming was very well done. Awesome job :)
nice try but it's not a sonnet. A sonnet is much shorter than this and structured differently.
This is one of the best poems I have ever read? How come it isn't in the magazine? LOL! [5 stars!!]
Oh, gosh! This is super good. :) I am so jealous; I wish I could like this. This is professional work, LOL!
I agree with the others. You did an excellent job with protraying the scene through your use of words. Every word seemed perfect. I loved the rhyme. :)
Honestly, I didn't see anything wrong with it. :)
Wow! Great image, and great rhythm! I can really relate to this poem, and I think a lot of people can. You also do a really good job of making abstract ideas concrete images. Five stars!
PS. Could you give me feedback on my sci-fi novel White Ribbon? I would love to read what you think of it.
