You ask me to speak
from my heart
Not from my brain

What I said
was true
But there is more than that
I didn't have time to speak

A sadness
A grief grips me
That I messed up so badly
I could have said no before

I didn't
Now I have to wait
So long
Gain a trust I no longer have

Tears come to my eyes
To finally fall
knowing it was all my fault

You are so much better
Now I can't prove that
It hurts
To the point of physical pain

If I could have you
I would. Instantly

But my curse
Such a burden
I cannot rid myself of
You will leave
I'd never see you again

I don't know
What hurts more
Unable to be
Or knowing if we were
Together

My tears fall slowly
While I write
Releasing a pain
Never gone, always there
I didn't really want you
To know

I know
It was to happen anyway

This saddness will never leave
I could never be
That happy little girl
I used to be

Saying what you did today
Brought a feeling
I haven't had
I can't believe I fell
good enough
for you to love me too