Your ice-cold fingertips rub your legs trying to warm your body but in turn it does the opposite.

You know you’re powerless
And it eats you alive
From the inside out slowly ripping you apart
Searching for answers to questions
Asking yourself
“Why can’t I do better?”
“Why can’t I stop this?”
“Why aren’t I strong enough?”
And you realize you did your best
But it just wasn’t enough.
And for that sin
You are
Nothing
And you believe it while learning to hate yourself.
What you can’t control is
Your fault.
So you find a way to prove to yourself
You have power
No matter what it is
You’ll do anything.
Even if you lose yourself along the way
And only create
More
Pain.

Now sweat glazes your forehead while your heart is beating fast and your own blood drips off your fingertips.