Enhance Me | TeenInk

Enhance Me

April 13, 2011
By Raytheraym PLATINUM, Belton, Missouri
Raytheraym PLATINUM, Belton, Missouri
47 articles 35 photos 460 comments

Take apart my DNA,
and put it back together,
however you want,
change me,
rearrange me,
make me superior,
enhance me,
make me beautiful,
and intelligent too,
get rid of those ugly hereditary genes,
make me one of a kind,
with a doctored up mind.


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This article has 18 comments.


on Aug. 4 2011 at 11:22 pm
Raytheraym PLATINUM, Belton, Missouri
47 articles 35 photos 460 comments
Thank you!

Emily.L GOLD said...
on Aug. 4 2011 at 10:34 pm
Emily.L GOLD, Gilbert, Arizona
10 articles 12 photos 84 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Sometimes, we just have to be happy with what people can offer us. Even if it's not what we want, at least it's something. " -Sarah Dessen

I liked this one a lot! (:

on Aug. 1 2011 at 12:59 am
Raytheraym PLATINUM, Belton, Missouri
47 articles 35 photos 460 comments
Thanks! :)

on Aug. 1 2011 at 12:52 am
IAmWhoIWantToBe PLATINUM, Manila, Other
41 articles 0 photos 650 comments

Favorite Quote:
‎"I’m learning how to drown out the constant noise that is such an inseparable part of my life. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I only have to follow my heart and concentrate on what I want to say to the world: I run my world." - Beyoncé

But too bad, I still can't be perfect :((( Good job on this!

on Jun. 12 2011 at 1:07 pm
Raytheraym PLATINUM, Belton, Missouri
47 articles 35 photos 460 comments
Thank you!. And sure, I'll check yours out.

on Jun. 11 2011 at 9:59 pm
SecretFlame PLATINUM, Portland, Oregon
20 articles 1 photo 375 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I have a life. I just choose to ignore it."
-one of my friends

Nice job! This poem is funny and striking at the same time. Keep writing. I want to read more of your work. If you could help me out and post some comments on my poem "Destinies Entwined" that would be great! I could really use the feedback. I'm pretty new at writing and this site. ANY tips would be wonderful!

SamiLou SILVER said...
on Jun. 6 2011 at 7:17 pm
SamiLou SILVER, Lee&#39s Summit, Missouri
6 articles 0 photos 51 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia"
-John Green (Looking For Alaska)

now that i think about it, it is kind of like "Maxium Ride"!

on Jun. 6 2011 at 6:34 pm
Raytheraym PLATINUM, Belton, Missouri
47 articles 35 photos 460 comments
Thanks! A lot of people that have read it said that it reminded them of "The Uglies". But, I haven't read them. I was kind of thinking of "Maximum Ride" when I wrote it.

SamiLou SILVER said...
on Jun. 6 2011 at 2:41 pm
SamiLou SILVER, Lee&#39s Summit, Missouri
6 articles 0 photos 51 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia"
-John Green (Looking For Alaska)

Wow, this kind of reminds me of he book "Brave New World" and what I've heard of of the Uglies series (i havent read it). It just shows that people really value that perfection that isnt possible in out original DNA. Great job!

on Jun. 4 2011 at 10:43 am
Raytheraym PLATINUM, Belton, Missouri
47 articles 35 photos 460 comments
Thanks! :)

on Jun. 3 2011 at 8:37 pm
redhairCat PLATINUM, Pebble Beach, California
47 articles 20 photos 411 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I can do anything!"

I really like it!

on May. 29 2011 at 4:16 pm
Raytheraym PLATINUM, Belton, Missouri
47 articles 35 photos 460 comments
Thank you very much!

on May. 29 2011 at 1:26 pm
yellowflower SILVER, Basking Ridge, New Jersey
8 articles 0 photos 47 comments
*keep writing!

on May. 29 2011 at 1:25 pm
yellowflower SILVER, Basking Ridge, New Jersey
8 articles 0 photos 47 comments
Wow i love the symbolism and the way the words rhyme occasionally but do not overpower the poem! Really good! keeping writing!

on May. 29 2011 at 11:19 am
Raytheraym PLATINUM, Belton, Missouri
47 articles 35 photos 460 comments
Thanks! I really like it as is, though. But, thanks. :)

KyleG SILVER said...
on May. 29 2011 at 10:14 am
KyleG SILVER, Millville, New Jersey
9 articles 0 photos 19 comments
This is pretty cool. My only suggestion is consider a different way of saying "doctored-up mind." The doctor/medical connotation is valuable here as it fits the theme, but I personally felt a sense of dissapointment at the last line. I was expecting something with bit more edge. You could even add a line between "make me one of a kind" and "with a doctored up mind" while retaining the important rhyme. I suggest this because you might be able to set up that final line for an even heavier hit. 

on May. 23 2011 at 3:42 pm
Raytheraym PLATINUM, Belton, Missouri
47 articles 35 photos 460 comments
Thanks! :)

.Izzy. BRONZE said...
on May. 23 2011 at 3:09 pm
.Izzy. BRONZE, Broadview Heights, Ohio
1 article 0 photos 388 comments
Wow! The last two lines were definitely my favorite part of the poem. Keep writing!