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Charm The Lady

April 25, 2011
By Boosflash DIAMOND, Papillion, Nebraska
More by this author
Boosflash DIAMOND, Papillion, Nebraska
55 articles 0 photos 2066 comments

Favorite Quote:
What the front door.

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At long last, a night to us my dear,
a time of love if that is, if that is,
what any sound minded individual may dare call it.
Such a pause, an invitation of silence,
you must be expecting a compliment or something.
Am I really to extol you this evening?
Darling, your hair smells of mucus
and some foreign substance
of which there is no naming.
And that dress is rather loud of you.
perhaps you could turn it down a notch,
it just so happens I'm already hard of hearing
In speaking of impairment of the senses-
I was nearly blinded by those ridiculous braces of yours
you should try a tad bit harder,
maybe you'll get it next time.
Those ruffles remind me of some unsightly
man-eating prehistoric flower,
that I am unwilling to fetch water for.
I do love your hair,such a vivid outstanding red,
like the spaghetti my mother is refusing to clean
from my recently cleaned newly waxed imported tile floor.
( in maybe less of a regurgitated fashion).
.
..I'm assuming you would not at all be willing to help with that.

I hope you weren't going to tell me you love me,
as I mentioned earlier I'm hard of hearing.

© Yisrawayl G., Philadelphia, PA

The author's comments:
I drafted this sucker up on some good o'l descent college ruled paper. Finalized it months later. The title is sarcastic, since this obviously isnt a method that should be used for charming anyone.please do commentate. I am in needment of the feedbackam.
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 42 comments.

Boosflash DIAMOND said...
on Jul. 7 2014 at 10:00 pm
Boosflash DIAMOND, Papillion, Nebraska
55 articles 0 photos 2066 comments

Favorite Quote:
What the front door.

View profile
I'm already dead. I've got a few idea for ome poems though.Well see what happens.
Miss_Orange SILVER said...
on Jul. 1 2014 at 8:14 pm
Miss_Orange SILVER, Makati, Other
6 articles 0 photos 112 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I&#039;m OK, I&#039;m Fine and I&#039;m alright are the greatest lies people tell each other everyday.&quot; By Me.

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NO! somebody, revive him!!! if it doesn't work, Preserve his brain!!! lol, sorry captain. but don't die on me!  please?
Boosflash DIAMOND said...
on Jun. 29 2014 at 11:56 am
Boosflash DIAMOND, Papillion, Nebraska
55 articles 0 photos 2066 comments

Favorite Quote:
What the front door.

View profile
Oh its terminal. I've already died so many times.
Miss_Orange SILVER said...
on Jun. 28 2014 at 2:33 am
Miss_Orange SILVER, Makati, Other
6 articles 0 photos 112 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I&#039;m OK, I&#039;m Fine and I&#039;m alright are the greatest lies people tell each other everyday.&quot; By Me.

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Oh no! not Writer's Block! please tell me it's not terminal....
Boosflash DIAMOND said...
on Jun. 27 2014 at 6:57 pm
Boosflash DIAMOND, Papillion, Nebraska
55 articles 0 photos 2066 comments

Favorite Quote:
What the front door.

View profile
I wish I could. I'm suffering from a terrible case of writers block. I really need to be medicated. This is insane.
Miss_Orange SILVER said...
on Jun. 25 2014 at 9:27 am
Miss_Orange SILVER, Makati, Other
6 articles 0 photos 112 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I&#039;m OK, I&#039;m Fine and I&#039;m alright are the greatest lies people tell each other everyday.&quot; By Me.

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hahaha! 3 monkeys and a zebra? lol, you owe me nothing but more peices! :D jk, write when u feel like it, it's not like i'm ur boss or something...
Boosflash DIAMOND said...
on Jun. 24 2014 at 5:33 pm
Boosflash DIAMOND, Papillion, Nebraska
55 articles 0 photos 2066 comments

Favorite Quote:
What the front door.

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Thank you so much for commentating. I owe you three monkeys and a zebra.
Boosflash DIAMOND said...
on Jun. 24 2014 at 5:31 pm
Boosflash DIAMOND, Papillion, Nebraska
55 articles 0 photos 2066 comments

Favorite Quote:
What the front door.

View profile
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Miss_Orange SILVER said...
on Jun. 23 2014 at 3:14 am
Miss_Orange SILVER, Makati, Other
6 articles 0 photos 112 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I&#039;m OK, I&#039;m Fine and I&#039;m alright are the greatest lies people tell each other everyday.&quot; By Me.

View profile
hahaha, this is funny! you have a way with weaving humor and sarcasm! especially when you described her red hair as regurgitated spaghetti! LOL and mmy favorite: Those ruffles remind me of some unsightly  man-eating prehistoric flower,  that I am unwilling to fetch water for.  ahahaha! Priceless, this one. I hate ruffles, too. :D
DarkBlueBaby BRONZE said...
on Apr. 6 2013 at 2:58 pm
DarkBlueBaby BRONZE, Chestnut Ridge, New York
3 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Why fit in when you were born to stand out?&quot; ~ Dr. Seuss<br /> &quot;Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.&quot;

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Thank you! I'll have to look at some of my other accounts but I would greatly appreciate it if you read the ones on this account. They're caled Fighter and Our Monsters. Thanks again for taking the time to read my work :) You're very talented and I hope you keep writing :D
SaphiraBrightscales DIAMOND said...
on Apr. 4 2013 at 11:18 pm
SaphiraBrightscales DIAMOND, Islamabad, Other
75 articles 16 photos 1136 comments

Favorite Quote:
I&#039;ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. <br /> - Maya Angelou <br /> When i was little/I used to point a chubby finger toward the dark sky/And ask my father/why some stars moved and others didn&rsquo;t/He would laugh and explain that some were airplanes/I still wish on them today ~ Laugh-It-Out<br /> The feathers of a crow are black/The ink of my pen is blacker/The pain of my heart is blackest~ Mckay<br /> If love produced a blossom/I&rsquo;d take it in my palm/What a blessing, the bright color!/How soothing, such a balm!/I&rsquo;d keep a petal for my own/The rest, drop from my hands/For such a flower would multiply/And populate the lands~ thesilentraven<br /> And I began to rival legends/Long entombed before my birth./But for all my much envied fame/The lust for more would not abate./The plaques and prizes with my name/Will, like all things, disintegrate. ~ TheEpic95 now known as Helena_Noel

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Who wouldn't just love to comment on your work Booflash! I just can't help but love all your work. Especially as most of it has the element of satire, which I love. Haha, you must think me weird but I just do... The most favourite line of mine from this is....Oh well I can't decide ,,, they were all awesomely put...
Boosflash DIAMOND said...
on Apr. 4 2013 at 10:36 am
Boosflash DIAMOND, Papillion, Nebraska
55 articles 0 photos 2066 comments

Favorite Quote:
What the front door.

View profile
Obey kabey. Please give me all the account names of work you want me to read.
DarkBlueBaby BRONZE said...
on Apr. 3 2013 at 8:40 pm
DarkBlueBaby BRONZE, Chestnut Ridge, New York
3 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Why fit in when you were born to stand out?&quot; ~ Dr. Seuss<br /> &quot;Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.&quot;

View profile
haha please, when you have time, let me know what you think of some of my work. I have other accounts, but these are my newest ones :)
Boosflash DIAMOND said...
on Mar. 25 2013 at 9:45 am
Boosflash DIAMOND, Papillion, Nebraska
55 articles 0 photos 2066 comments

Favorite Quote:
What the front door.

View profile
I am overwhelmed by your fluffiness. Thank you so muchness for your feedbackment. Perhaps you'd be willing to lend out your fluffiness...
despurlock DIAMOND said...
on Mar. 22 2013 at 8:21 pm
despurlock DIAMOND, Morgantown, West Virginia
79 articles 0 photos 179 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The heart has its reasons which reason does not know.&quot; -Pascal, Pensees, 1670

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  Preferences § 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 - = Backspace   Tab q w e r t y u i o p [ ]   Return     capslock a s d f g h j k l ; ' \   shift ` z x c v b n m , . / shift     English     Deutsch   Español   Français   Italiano   Português   Русский   alt alt     Preferences I absolutely adore the last two lines! Another powerful conclusion to a wonderfully unique piece! 
DarkBlueBaby BRONZE said...
on Mar. 18 2013 at 12:08 am
DarkBlueBaby BRONZE, Chestnut Ridge, New York
3 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Why fit in when you were born to stand out?&quot; ~ Dr. Seuss<br /> &quot;Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.&quot;

View profile
I absolutely love your work! I've read a few, and each one just gets better and better. You're quite a unique writer; all of your pieces are fascinating. You never know what to expect. Lovin the sarcasm too, btw :) Keep it up! You've got talent
Boosflash DIAMOND said...
on Sep. 23 2011 at 8:56 am
Boosflash DIAMOND, Papillion, Nebraska
55 articles 0 photos 2066 comments

Favorite Quote:
What the front door.

View profile
thank you very much please don't think I don't respond but it's just that I've been roaming in the desert for about 40 years now and I just came back to the internet hello and I love you captain
Boosflash DIAMOND said...
on Sep. 23 2011 at 8:51 am
Boosflash DIAMOND, Papillion, Nebraska
55 articles 0 photos 2066 comments

Favorite Quote:
What the front door.

View profile
Merci tres beacoup.i try to make good endings for my stuff so I glad I did what i was trying to do.
Marlyre PLATINUM said...
on Sep. 11 2011 at 10:03 pm
Marlyre PLATINUM, Kalamazoo, Michigan
21 articles 0 photos 208 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;when you cry, do you waste your tears?&quot; Madonna

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I love the ending.
ThatOneWritingGirl PLATINUM said...
on Aug. 17 2011 at 8:26 pm
ThatOneWritingGirl PLATINUM, Greenwood Village, Colorado
21 articles 0 photos 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don&#039;t tell me the sky&#039;s the limit when there are footprints on the moon.<br /> Love Always. :)<br /> When the tides of life turn against you and the current upsets your boat, don&#039;t waste time and tears on what might have been, just lie on your back and float.

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Three words: I. Love. This. Perfectly crafted, the sarcasm is balanced just right. I think this is great. You obviously have a talent and I hope to read more of your work! The ending is perfect, probably my favorite part. I'm very impressed. Keep it up! :)