look around | Teen Ink

look around

May 7, 2011
By Anonymous

look around you and see the years you've missed the birthdays the dates the broken hearts
look around and what do you see except for a broken heart child with a unspeakable past because of you
look around and see the daughter you left to help her self find her own daddy one who would say shes beatiful and smart
look around see my name on the door telling you that i have found my niche
look around at the hurt and the pain and ask yourself was "freedom" worth it ?


The author's comments:
my dad he hurt me and im bitter about it

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This article has 9 comments.


on Dec. 23 2011 at 3:56 pm
idc-wat-they-think SILVER, Augusta, Georgia
5 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
every sinner has a future every saint has a past

thanks pen and yes i have been working on that disiple thanks also and its not you fault dont apologize :) but thank you for the sympathy

on Dec. 23 2011 at 3:54 pm
idc-wat-they-think SILVER, Augusta, Georgia
5 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
every sinner has a future every saint has a past

well it is what i feel sometimes when i think of my father thank you and yes i am working on improving my grammar

on Dec. 23 2011 at 3:48 pm
R5andParamore BRONZE, Manalapan, New Jersey
2 articles 0 photos 67 comments
i really like this. im sorry! by the way

on Dec. 23 2011 at 3:46 pm
TheEldritchPrince SILVER, Stockbridge, Georgia
9 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
Logic is not flawless

Kinda sad. I'm afraid I don't fully follow. Some punctuation would help miles.

on Dec. 23 2011 at 5:50 am
Pen2Paper BRONZE, Eatons Hill, Other
3 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
This was said by Abraham Lincoln: It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.

This is really great. I love the personaliy in the poem. U can tell a lot of feeling has gone into it. do agree with CarrieAnn13 though, grammer and punctuation could do with some work.

on Dec. 22 2011 at 5:34 pm
idc-wat-they-think SILVER, Augusta, Georgia
5 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
every sinner has a future every saint has a past

thank you and yes i know i mest up on grmmar lol but thank u still

on Dec. 22 2011 at 5:32 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Excellent work! My only criticism is that even though this is a free verse poem, punctuation and proper capitalization are very important and appreciated. Other than that, I think this is a great poem. Keep writing! :)

on Dec. 22 2011 at 5:26 pm
idc-wat-they-think SILVER, Augusta, Georgia
5 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
every sinner has a future every saint has a past

thank you and i would love to send me the link and ill give you feedback :)

Matice BRONZE said...
on Dec. 22 2011 at 3:26 pm
Matice BRONZE, O&#39Fallon, Missouri
2 articles 0 photos 141 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Maria, first, let me say that you will most certainly regret it. Second, let me say that I'm in."-Smith

Great job! I enjoyed reading that. It was a very cute poem. :) If you have a spare minute, I'd be honored if you were able to take a look at some of my work. Feedback means a lot to me.