I am unpredictable,

the variable,

the unknown quantity,

the chaos factor,

Chemical X.

My mother sees the daughter that is different,

the odd one out,

the black sheep,

the ugly duckling.

My sister sees a bully,

the bad sibling,

she can blame her for everything.

Teachers see a student,

sometimes spacey,

easily distractable,

but who works hard.

Very intelligent,

large vocabulary.

The psychiatrist sees misplaced anger,

trust issues,

hiding within a shell.

A girl of self-harm.

My friends see a laughing,

talking,

shopping,

tough,

fighting,

helping,

nurturing,

girl.

My father sees

well, I’m not sure who he sees,

but apparently, she makes him proud.

When I look in the mirror,

I see inside myself:

anger,

sadness,

pain,

fighting.

But on the outside,

I see friends,

happiness,

playing,

singing,

laughing.

I see a lie.