I hate you.
More than that,
I hate myself.
I hate you because
you lied to me.
You said you would be ok.
I hate myself because
I believed you.
A little kid who needed
comfort from his big brother.
I hate you because
you’re gone forever.
I hate myself because
I am still here.
I don’t deserve to be here.
You’re the hero, not me.
I hate you because
I still love you so much
and it wrenches my heart
to think about you.
I hate myself because
I never told you.
I never made it clear
how much you meant to me.
How proud I was of you.
How much I wanted to be like you.
I hate you because
you died a hero
protecting your country.
I hate myself because
I blame you.
I can’t forgive you.
I hate myself because
I hate you
and for that
I can’t forgive myself.