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Secrets
Secrets waiting
Tip of tongue
Secrets yearning
Fresh and young
Secrets dusty
Creased and aged
Secrets prisoned
Cold and caged
Secrets darkened
Shadows know
Secrets many
Whispered so
Secret hiding
In your eye
I saw it once
And it saw I
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This article has 25 comments.
Haha! This is awesome. It's completely natural and has almost no hiccups.
My only problems: Stanza 7 has "secret," when all the othe stanzas have "secrets." I would add puntuation at the end of each stanza. And a dash at the second to last line,so it would read:
I saw it once--
And it saw I.
Also, the "I" isn't working for me. For one, it's not grammatically correct (I is the direct object, so it should be in objective form--aka: me). Secondly, "I" just seems like a weak word to end with (probably because you will hardly ever see a sentence end in a nominative pronoun). I only rate articles if I can give them a perfect 5 with a clear conscience, and I rated this one!
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Favorite Quote:
I believe that no matter who you are we all leave footprints on this Earth