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Stuck and Unstuck Love MAG

July 18, 2011
By thetruthawaits94 SILVER, Duncan, Oklahoma
More by this author
thetruthawaits94 SILVER, Duncan, Oklahoma
9 articles 0 photos 351 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain.

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We were two birds stuck
On the wire between the telephone poles.
We were perched
Just far enough so our wings could not touch.
Sparks danced between us,
Sizzling on the electrical wire,
And all we could do was gaze
Into each other's beady eyes.

But when we did,
We felt like we were soaring
Above rooftops, and treetops, circling each other
But we were two birds stuck in love
On the wire between the telephone poles.
Our feet gripped and could not ungrip
We could not scoot closer,
We could not shift farther.

We looked at each other,
Sorrow in our black eyes
As we began to realize
There was no point in wasting time.
For we were two birds stuck in love
On the wire between the telephone poles.
Our talons grew tired from gripping,
Our hearts became weary of wishing,
And we little by little accepted the heartrending truth.
We could not scoot closer,
We could not shift farther.

Until one day,
A gusty wind came
And toppled our telephone poles
That had once held us in place.
We could stretch our talons.
We were two birds unstuck and free.

I flew and flew and flew away,
So shocked that I was unhandcuffed
Until I found you flew another way.
And it was with the freedom that the
wind finally gave
That I lost the love I had always meant
to save.

© Dylan H., Phoenix, AZ

The author's comments:
This poem is about how you can really want something (or someone), but there is an obstacle that is blocking you from getting it. Then, by the time the obstacle is finally gone, you've forgotten, you have become distracted by something else, and you miss out on the opportunity you've always been waiting for.
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 41 comments.

thetruthawaits94 SILVER said...
on Aug. 5 2013 at 1:25 am
thetruthawaits94 SILVER, Duncan, Oklahoma
9 articles 0 photos 351 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain.

View profile
Thank you so much! I generally get free verse from a single line I think up in my head. The line in this particular poem was the "we were two birds stuck..." one.  I think as long as you start with a strong line, you can go from there! I like to think my free verse is just simply storytelling with a bit of a rhythm. I use a lot of imagery and some repetition. Those are always good!! :) I honestly don't know a correct way to write free verse. I write free verse because there aren't any rules! haha  P.S. I read a few of your haikus- They were brilliant! 
ChrisJ PLATINUM said...
on Aug. 4 2013 at 4:29 pm
ChrisJ PLATINUM, Rochester, New York
24 articles 15 photos 289 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love.&rdquo;<br /> - Martin Luther King Jr.

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Beautiful. Whimsical. Delightful. And rather tragic, all rolled up into one. This is a poem that I will not forget, really great job, and congrats on the print! Oh, and do you have any advice to give on how to write Free Verses as well as you do???
thetruthawaits94 SILVER said...
on Jul. 16 2012 at 5:13 pm
thetruthawaits94 SILVER, Duncan, Oklahoma
9 articles 0 photos 351 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain.

View profile
Thank you so much! You're so nice! It means so much to me that you liked it! :)
LongLazyDays55 BRONZE said...
on Jul. 16 2012 at 3:04 pm
LongLazyDays55 BRONZE, Other, Other
3 articles 0 photos 94 comments

Favorite Quote:
I haven&#039;t failed. I just haven&#039;t found 10,000 ways that won&#039;t work. [Thomas Edison]<br /> <br /> When words fail, music speaks.

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Hi, LongLazyDays55's here. :) :) Your poem's are amazing! Loved it! Congrats on getting published and getting an Editor's Choice! :D You should write a book! 5 stars for me! :)
thetruthawaits94 SILVER said...
on Jan. 29 2012 at 7:58 pm
thetruthawaits94 SILVER, Duncan, Oklahoma
9 articles 0 photos 351 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain.

View profile
Thank you! Yeah, I hadn't been on TI for a while and then i got an email saying they were going to publish it! it was really cool! It's supposed to be in febriary's issue. I'm excited to see it in print
leafy said...
on Jan. 29 2012 at 7:24 pm
leafy, City, Other
0 articles 0 photos 682 comments

Favorite Quote:
Gil: I would like you to read my novel and get your opinion.&nbsp;<br /> Ernest Hemingway: I hate it.&nbsp;<br /> Gil: You haven&#039;t even read it yet.&nbsp;<br /> Ernest Hemingway: If it&#039;s bad, I&#039;ll hate it. If it&#039;s good, then I&#039;ll be envious and hate it even more. You don&#039;t want the opinion of another writer.&nbsp;

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It funny, I was looking on my profile, and noticed that two pieces on my favorites list got published (before it was just one), and I was like, whoa! :D I'm glad you finally got published, you definitely deserve it ^_^
Lexie96 GOLD said...
on Oct. 28 2011 at 10:13 pm
Lexie96 GOLD, Havana, Illinois
11 articles 0 photos 378 comments

Favorite Quote:
Now Cinderella don&#039;t you go to sleep, it&#039;s such a bitter form of refuge, oh don&#039;t you know the kingdom&#039;s under siege, and everbody needs you. - The Killers

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Yeah, I can't help but agree, this really should be published, it's great. Congrats on Editor's choice, though, that's great! This was a really good poem... and if you wouldn't mind I would love it if you could check out mine some time.
leafy said...
on Sep. 13 2011 at 2:15 pm
leafy, City, Other
0 articles 0 photos 682 comments

Favorite Quote:
Gil: I would like you to read my novel and get your opinion.&nbsp;<br /> Ernest Hemingway: I hate it.&nbsp;<br /> Gil: You haven&#039;t even read it yet.&nbsp;<br /> Ernest Hemingway: If it&#039;s bad, I&#039;ll hate it. If it&#039;s good, then I&#039;ll be envious and hate it even more. You don&#039;t want the opinion of another writer.&nbsp;

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Lol if you scroll down, you'll see that ve already read this XD. But I still think it is amazing, and again, nice job on getting the editors choice mark. I definitely hink it should be published. 5/5
Regs_the_Shorty GOLD said...
on Sep. 10 2011 at 5:52 pm
Regs_the_Shorty GOLD, Frankfort, Illinois
13 articles 0 photos 129 comments

Favorite Quote:
There are people who finish what they start and.....

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It is absolutely great I loved it 5 stars!!!
IamtheshyStargirl PLATINUM said...
on Sep. 1 2011 at 7:23 pm
IamtheshyStargirl PLATINUM, Lothlorien, Utah
44 articles 16 photos 2206 comments

Favorite Quote:
Boredom instigates extreme creativity. <br /> ~Amoniel<br /> <br /> "Bowing gratefully to all of my subjects, 'thank you. Thank you. The pleasure is mine." Nah, I'm just kidding. We're all kings together.'" <br /> ~Thesilentraven

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Oh wow, beautifully written, you are very talented :)
backyardheart BRONZE said...
on Aug. 26 2011 at 8:06 pm
backyardheart BRONZE, Cape Coral, Florida
2 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I still can&#039;t get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There&#039;s good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too sad.&quot;<br /> ---Kurt Cobain

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Absolutely wonderful. The bird metaphor was great- and I especially enjoyed the last stanza, as well as the repetition of "On the wire between the telephone poles."
little-miss-mistakes GOLD said...
on Aug. 21 2011 at 10:23 pm
little-miss-mistakes GOLD, Plano, Texas
18 articles 2 photos 70 comments

Favorite Quote:
even after all these years the sun has never said to the earth, you owe me... look at what a love like that can do, it can light up the sky

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i love this!! its sweet and sad at the same time... and i have been in a really relatable circumstance that really hits home!!! i especially love the ending
BeLoveToday PLATINUM said...
on Aug. 17 2011 at 8:29 am
BeLoveToday PLATINUM, Manchester, New Hampshire
24 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. <br /> -Nelson Mandela<br /> <br /> &quot;Leave your fear of love behind, <br /> let your dreaming be your guide.<br /> If you seek, than you shall find.&quot;<br /> -&quot;Dreamer,&quot; by Elizaveta

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This poem was very sweet, and I enjoyed your use of bird imagery. My favorite lines were, "Our talons grew tired from gripping, Our hearts became weary of wishing." Also, I liked the realization in the last stanza, beginnng with, "I flew and flew and flew away." I would consider looking for a synonym for un-handcuffed though, because it sort of breaks up the rhythm. Overall, very nice poem! Thanks for sharing!
silver_ice BRONZE said...
on Aug. 14 2011 at 9:58 pm
silver_ice BRONZE, Wheelock, Texas
4 articles 0 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
Imagination is the eye of the soul.<br /> -Joseph Joubert<br /> and<br /> Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.<br /> -Mark Twain ;P

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iiiii like it! it's very sweet yet kinda sad at the same time :)
last-impression BRONZE said...
on Aug. 11 2011 at 7:39 pm
last-impression BRONZE, Sherwood, Arkansas
1 article 0 photos 3 comments
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My goodness, you're just an amazing writer. 
thetruthawaits94 SILVER said...
on Aug. 10 2011 at 7:11 pm
thetruthawaits94 SILVER, Duncan, Oklahoma
9 articles 0 photos 351 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain.

View profile
i mean i am a teenager! lol, but i mean that i don't write about drugs, relationships (not exactly), or dark thoughts, wanting freedom... that kind of stuff that they are looking for. That's not my thing, really, unfortunately. i can't force myself to write like that so i will continue to write for myself first and then others second! maybe someday i'll get in...fingers crossed :) 
HannSawyer15 BRONZE said...
on Aug. 10 2011 at 7:01 pm
HannSawyer15 BRONZE, North Brunswick, New Jersey
1 article 0 photos 107 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I say... lets speak it. Lets fight it. Lets write it. There&#039;s nothing to hold on to if it&#039;s already gone.&quot;

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I know what you mean... and yeah I understand but you should be the acception to that rule! Lol you're such a great writer!
thetruthawaits94 SILVER said...
on Aug. 10 2011 at 6:59 pm
thetruthawaits94 SILVER, Duncan, Oklahoma
9 articles 0 photos 351 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain.

View profile
Thanks for saying that. it means so much!!! i wish i could get into the magazine, but i doubt i will with any of the works i have now because they are not the usual teenager things that the mag is looking for, i feel. :( if you know what i mean... thanks for reading my poems!
HannSawyer15 BRONZE said...
on Aug. 10 2011 at 4:54 pm
HannSawyer15 BRONZE, North Brunswick, New Jersey
1 article 0 photos 107 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I say... lets speak it. Lets fight it. Lets write it. There&#039;s nothing to hold on to if it&#039;s already gone.&quot;

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Imagery is really your thing! And you're great at it! Honestly I don't know why Teen Ink hasn't published you yet because you are an AMAZING writer! Simply amazing.
WithPenAndScript DIAMOND said...
on Aug. 8 2011 at 10:19 pm
WithPenAndScript DIAMOND, Venetia, Pennsylvania
72 articles 232 photos 251 comments

Favorite Quote:
I believe that no matter who you are we all leave footprints on this Earth

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You were right they were sort of similair! This piece was so...poectic and descriptive and metaphorical...All the things i love :)