Just Save Yourself some Time and don't pick this Up | Teen Ink

Just Save Yourself some Time and don't pick this Up

August 1, 2011
By Eirias SILVER, Spring, Texas
Eirias SILVER, Spring, Texas
5 articles 0 photos 70 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you wish to be a writer, write" -Epictetus


Put this down,
Put this down,
Put this down,
Quit reading!

Eventually you will;
You can’t last forever.
You may have skipped the title,
But there’s nothing more to see!

You must have some notion
(and a poor, deluded one at that)
That I’m tryin’ to stop you
from findin’ out.

You’re right,
I am,
So I didn’t even put it in here!
But of course you don’t believe me,
So I’ll have to try again!

Put this down,
Put this down,
Put this down,
It’s futile!

Stop wasting your time,
Your life,
(which must be pathetic, to be reading such garbage)
And just put this down!
You won’t find anything;
Nada,
Zippo.
You can skim the “put this down”s
To get to the real stuff,
But I tell you:
This is the real stuff!
No joke.
I’m actually not lyin’ to you.

Put this down,
Put this down,
Put this down,
It’s futile!

You know what?
I’m done.
I give.
I’m through tryin’ to convince you.
It’s futile . . . for me.


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This article has 14 comments.


on Jul. 28 2012 at 2:06 am
Pika_Princess, Escondido, California
0 articles 0 photos 118 comments

Wow! This was really good. I really liked reading it...I don't think it was a waste of time. I really got into it and the poem had a certain beat to it. I got caught up with the poem and its flow, so nice job dragging me in (even though you were trying to push me out).

To be honest, nothing really stands out as having to be fixed except for one. The lines in parantheses tend to slow down the tempo of the poem. I'm not really sure whether or not this is something that you need to fix, but it is something that stood out.

Keep writing!


on Jul. 24 2012 at 11:27 am
LongLazyDays55 BRONZE, Other, Other
3 articles 0 photos 94 comments

Favorite Quote:
I haven't failed. I just haven't found 10,000 ways that won't work. [Thomas Edison]

When words fail, music speaks.

Good work. It reminds me (when I read it) of lyrics to a song. Very good! :) Keep writing! :)

on Jun. 12 2012 at 1:08 pm
Eowyngreen SILVER, Metamora, Michigan
7 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you don't want to be forgotten, shortly after you are dead and rotten, either do something worth writing, or write something worth reading."
~Benjamin Franklin

You have very good grammar and spelling, definately no mistakes there, but the content to me was a little iffy.  It's unique, for sure, but it is a little repetitive, because you can't go very many places with something like this.  SOmetimes cutting off the g's at the end of words (tryin' findin') just didn't quite fit and were distracting.  You are a great writer, keep going.

on Aug. 21 2011 at 12:26 am
RandomInspiration GOLD, Schulenburg, Texas
10 articles 0 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
Laugh as much as you breathe, and love as long as you live <3

Creative, but sort of reminds me of a subpar imitation of Lemony Snicket.  Keep writing though :)

on Aug. 4 2011 at 7:33 pm
JerseyGirl716 BRONZE, Central, New Jersey
2 articles 0 photos 92 comments

Favorite Quote:
"We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot." -Eleanor Roosevelt

I love this, very funny! Great job, I can't think of anything I'd change! 5/5 :)

Brandon O. said...
on Aug. 3 2011 at 7:32 pm
Yeah, if feel the same way. I figured this site would be okay, because it's only us writers (which, by nature, tend to be sensitive, goody-two-shoes), but I guess even TeenInk is corrupt. I don't rate it unless I can give it a 5.

on Aug. 3 2011 at 7:06 pm
thetruthawaits94 SILVER, Duncan, Oklahoma
9 articles 0 photos 351 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain.

I don't know why someone would do that. One time before i had someone go through my poems ( i had four on the site then) rating them 1 star, 2, 3, and 4 stars in that order. I couldn't believe it! I bet they didn't even read my poems! At least not thoroughly. I mean, to me, 4 stars is okay, but anything below it kind of hurts. if i don't really like a poem, then i just don't do anything at all. I don't comment or rate. All i can think is that the person was jealous, bored, or trying to get you back for some tough criticism you have given them sometime. I seriously doubt they thought your poems were legitimately bad because if they did then they should have commented how you could change the poem to make it better. SIGH! people these days.... so sorry, don't be down about it!

Eirias said...
on Aug. 3 2011 at 6:48 pm
Thanks! It was on the forums, it's probably on page 2 or 3 by now.

Eirias said...
on Aug. 3 2011 at 6:48 pm
Well, maybe I can do stop signs. And whoever gave me the low rating just went down my poems and gave them all a bad one.

on Aug. 3 2011 at 4:58 pm
JoPepper PLATINUM, Annandale, Virginia
35 articles 0 photos 782 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Freedom is the ability to not care what the other person thinks."

"Not all those who wander are lost" --JRR Tolkien

"When you are listening to music it is better to cover your eyes than your ears." --Jose' Bergamin

That's kind of funny!!!!!! Very good I really like it.  I couldn't find your Relative Perspetives Keep Writing!!!! :D

on Aug. 3 2011 at 4:49 pm
thetruthawaits94 SILVER, Duncan, Oklahoma
9 articles 0 photos 351 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain.

I was definitely NOT the one that gave you 1 out of 5 stars! Whoever did that wow. I thought it was great. I don't know, but i have not rated this article yet. I will now though... :) I only get one rate per day per article so this will prove that i am not two  faced. 5/5 all the way! :) Don't believe whoever rated it that- it is truly great. And haha!- yeah, the cops might be after you, true, but people are always passing out flyers maybe you could do that. lol :D

Eirias said...
on Aug. 3 2011 at 3:13 pm
By the way, I don't live in New York. If I did that where I live, I'd probably get cops on me for littering all over everyone's nice lawns!

Eirias said...
on Aug. 3 2011 at 3:11 pm
Did you make a mistake? You liked it, but gave it a 1 out of 5 stars?

on Aug. 3 2011 at 1:48 pm
thetruthawaits94 SILVER, Duncan, Oklahoma
9 articles 0 photos 351 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain.

this is funny! it made me smile!  I feel like you should through copies and copies of this on the streets of New York and just see how many smiles you can get from people picking this up and reading it! If it had been me writing this poem, then i would have some inspirational, amazing line at the end. Then, the poem would have that silliness, but it could also make the reader ponder over the thought of the last line. it would make their day and plus impact them. i realize that you went in a bit different direction with the poem, but it's just an idea. I mean, you could make a second version of it if you want! And the meaning of the poem would be, You have to get through all the doubts and people that hold you back, saying, Stop wasting your time on these stupid dreams, to get to the goal, the greatness. SOMETHING like that. Understand, that is simply an idea. This poem got my brain rolling with them! I love the poem how it is just the same! Great work. Thanks for entering into the contest!