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Fallen on Forgotten St.
Chesnut curls 
 whip around her face 
 as she searches 
 dark alleys 
 and twisting country roads, 
 looking for her lost life. 
 She thought she left it 
 somewhere between 
 Betrayal St. 
 and Heartbreak Ave., 
 but it's not there. 
 She shouts desperate questions 
 but passerbys don't care. 
 Alone in her search 
 she is frantic,
 checking inside  
 garbage cans 
 and behind 
 vintage oak trees. 
 With a sick realization 
 she knows 
 her life is gone for good. 
 With no more will 
 to fight for her life 
 she collapses on the blacktop, 
 overcome with haunting resignation. 
 Cars full of heartless people 
 drive around the helpless girl 
 and continue without the consideration of stopping. 
 After long moments  
 of wearily lying unmoving, 
 she hears the light crunch 
 of footsteps moving closer. 
 She stared up in wonder 
 at a stranger 
 who offered his hand and a chance. 
 With joyous salt 
 streaming down her cheeks, 
 she gladly  
 accepted her life back 
 from the mysterious miracle  
 standing before her.

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This article has 4 comments.
I'm going to have to agree with Elli about the street names, way too cliche. There are better and more original to say the same thing without a cheesy gimmick. You can do it :)
Also, it's too long. De-clutter it, take out any word that is not achieving a specific purpose and it will be so much more succinct. Poetry is picking the most perfect words in the most perfect order and leaving everything else out.
example:
"and continue without the consideration of stopping" -- way too long and wordy for no reason. Find a way to work in that they are selfish for not stopping using really strong vivid words, but the fewer the better. Get what I'm saying?
Good luck, really good start :)
 
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