On the outside
Looking in
Peering through
Sunken voids
Deep
Endless
Unseeing
Pits in my empty
Skull
Soul cracked
Unclean
Warped
Just like these
Windows
I spend my life
Peering through

On the outside
It's always raining
Always storm
And lightning
My body
Always tear-soaked
The Heavens
Always crying
Hammering my
Shaking skeleton
With it's pain
It's secrets
My world
Flooded
Dark and cold

But these windows
In these houses
So sheltered
So safe
And dry
Orange glow
Of lit fireplaces
Children's laughter
Mother smiles
So happy
So beautiful
Innocent...
Unknowing...
Protected...

In the storm
I watch
Through the
Glass
Shining
Dry and warm within
Drizzling
Heaven's bleeding
Without

Move like a
Wraith
A shadow
In the dark
Bare feet
In all this mud
Sucking
Striving
To bring me down
To it's watery
Murky
Depths
Where I could
Die quietly
Unknown
Unnoticed by
The world
It offers me relief
From this storm
But I refuse
It's kind offer


“No”, I reply
“You can't have me
Not yet...”

I do not sleep
But I dream
I do not trust
But I hope
In
Ankle-deep mud
I stand transfixed
Gazing into
The warmest window
I can find
And begin
To pray

To be warm
To be dry
To be sheltered
And to laugh

There is a hole
In my chest
On the left
Black
Empty
Echoing
That those
Creatures inside
Do not possess
I pray
To sobbing Heavens
That I might
Fill that hole
With whatever
May belong there

On a lonely
Hillside
I sit
Wait
Listen
Watch
The light
The warmth
The dryness
The laughter
A stranger observing
A world
That I envy
But
Do not quite understand
Longing
To be within
Pleading
To be free
From this
Battering storm
Waiting
Watching
For someone
To notice
To open a door
For me
To finally
View the world
From the
Other side
Of the weathered glass