Feeling Numb | Teen Ink

Feeling Numb

September 12, 2011
By AliceAngel DIAMOND, Shreveport, Louisiana
AliceAngel DIAMOND, Shreveport, Louisiana
60 articles 52 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
This brick wall I tried so hard to build, is tumbling down. - Me (AliceAngel)

If drama were vodka, everyone at my school would be drunk. - Chloe, one of my friends.

The feeling you get she you feel,
But you don’t feel.
The feeling you get after your god attacks you,
Leaving you on the ground,
Pushing back the tears even though you feel the pain.
It’s the feeling you get when your parents fight.
When you dad doesn’t get why your mom let one of your dogs attack you.
But I get it.
It wasn’t her fault.
Dogs have a mind of their own!
You can’t control them!
You don’t know what they’ll do!
So my dad blames my mom for one of our dogs attacking me.
But it’s not her fault.
He may be angry about it,
But doesn’t he see it?
Doesn’t he understand?
Even if he HAS gotten bitten many times by our dogs,
It’s not my mom’s fault.
It’s a feeling.
It hurts,
But you barely feel it.
If I come to school broken tomorrow,
With bruises all along my shoulder,
Just know it’s not my mom’s fault.
She can’t control the world.
She can’t control peole.
Just know it’s not my dad’s fault.
He doesn’t understand.
He doesn’t see the truth.
Just know it’s not my brother’s fault.
He wasn’t awake.
He doesn’t know what happened.
Just know it’s not my fault.
I knew he was about to attack me,
But I didn’t close the door.
I didn’t block him.
I practically offered him my shoulder.
Who knew this was going to happene?
That’s how I feel right now.
I’m just numb.
I’m hurting,
Tears rolling down my face,
But I’m just numb.

The author's comments:
This is a true story. And i just kept on crying. Not because it hurt. But because i don't like crying in front of people. It just makes me cry harder and longer if i cry in front of people. I feel just fine crying by myself. I know it's not good to be that way, but that's just me. And i did feel numb. I was numb, i was hurting, but at the same time, where my dog got me, it tickled. I'm not exactly sure why, and this was after my mom had put band-aids on and everything.

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