There the lily sits | Teen Ink

There the lily sits

October 16, 2011
By Acastillo GOLD, Phoenix, Arizona
Acastillo GOLD, Phoenix, Arizona
11 articles 0 photos 114 comments

Favorite Quote:
Just because you have flaws, doesn't mean you aren't beautiful ~Zayn Malik


There the lily sits in a serene, blissful pond, 
where the luminous glow of the moon shines upon it.
There the lily sits remaining untouched by any living being,
for its beauty is too rendering.
There the lily sits with lucrative, silvery petals,
that sway softly in the gentle wind.
There the lily sits,
and there, it will forever remain.


The author's comments:
I really love lilies so I wanted to write a piece about it.

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This article has 8 comments.


Acastillo GOLD said...
on Jan. 22 2012 at 7:40 pm
Acastillo GOLD, Phoenix, Arizona
11 articles 0 photos 114 comments

Favorite Quote:
Just because you have flaws, doesn't mean you aren't beautiful ~Zayn Malik

Ok thanks for the Feedback:D

4Fou4 BRONZE said...
on Jan. 22 2012 at 3:37 pm
4Fou4 BRONZE, Baltimore, Maryland
4 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"Life should be lived on the edge of life. You have to exercise rebellion: to refuse to tape yourself to rules, to refuse your own success, to refuse to repeat yourself, to see every day, every year, every idea as a true challenge - and then you are going to live your life on a tightrope." -Philippe Petit

I really like this poem. The imagery is beautiful and the mystic feel to it is superb. I just feel that though the repetition is strong, there could be a better flow to it

Acastillo GOLD said...
on Jan. 16 2012 at 10:23 pm
Acastillo GOLD, Phoenix, Arizona
11 articles 0 photos 114 comments

Favorite Quote:
Just because you have flaws, doesn't mean you aren't beautiful ~Zayn Malik

Ok thanks for the advice Branden, I will definitely will try that next time

on Jan. 16 2012 at 8:58 pm
Branden Navedo SILVER, Oklahoma, Maryland
5 articles 0 photos 17 comments
I really like the repetition, which is good in poetry, but it would be even better if it were coupled with a good rhythm. That can be accomplished by modifying the "sentences" into fragments.

on Oct. 20 2011 at 7:51 pm
RayBaytheDinosaur GOLD, Hampton, South Carolina
18 articles 17 photos 159 comments

Favorite Quote:
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

Love your imagery, it makes the scene seem so... mystical =)

Acastillo GOLD said...
on Oct. 18 2011 at 7:58 pm
Acastillo GOLD, Phoenix, Arizona
11 articles 0 photos 114 comments

Favorite Quote:
Just because you have flaws, doesn't mean you aren't beautiful ~Zayn Malik

Thanks, that is what I was trying to do,Express my voice through poetry.

on Oct. 18 2011 at 3:12 pm
Metaphor SILVER, Falls Church, Virginia
5 articles 2 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
The beauty of grace is that it make life not fair.

You created a great voice through this.