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Starry Night
November 1, 2011
We were driving
top down
On a starry night
The wind was spinning around
riding on a tilt a whirl
Through our faces
we held onto our dog
It was a cold night,
As our white furry dog
kissed our cheeks
with his pink tongue
We ate our ice cream
On the car ride back
which was as sweet as
the clouds above
As we go so fast
To a little white dog it feels like
we're time traveling
Everything in the past
is behind us
But as we pull
into our driveway
The magic has come to an end
Until next time
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This article has 5 comments.
Helena_Noel BRONZE said...
on Jan. 14 2012 at 12:24 pm
Actually, I think you did good. It is simple and interesting. It drew me in with the simple details of a night out. I do admit though it almost felt like you jumped from stanza to stanza, something about it was a bit choppy. But, I do still think it deserves five outa five. Could you comment/rate my poem Lonely Fires, please?
KarinaDavidyuk GOLD said...
on Dec. 3 2011 at 9:45 pm
i think you could improve this by adding more depth to it
15 articles 1 photo 27 comments
Favorite Quote:
Life is like a game of chess.. Every move makes a change.