Daddy's Womb | Teen Ink

Daddy's Womb MAG

April 23, 2008
By Anonymous

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.



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This article has 2192 comments.


on Feb. 7 2009 at 6:50 am
To everyone who said you didnt try or you didnt do a good job. they dont know anything. the point of poetry is to let the writer express themselves, if you are happy with it then does it matter what some loser thinks? i dont think so. i hope you continue to write and let people hear your voice. very powerful and relatable. you might also like allpoetry.com fellow writes would enjoy your writing.

Emster29 said...
on Jan. 31 2009 at 7:39 pm
I totally thought it expressed your feelings and thats AMAZING. Even though I don't agree with everything you said (my parents are pretty open minded) I thought it rocked!

on Jan. 31 2009 at 7:09 pm
i just want to reply to samuel's "infuriated" comment. I believe poetry is about how the person feels and the symbolism. you don't necessarily need big words for a poem. that makes it dry and boring. and it's okay if the capitalization and grammar is bad too. what matters is what the author was revealing about a part of their mind.



it was a very good poem. ^^ thanks for sharing it with us.

pink pod said...
on Jan. 31 2009 at 4:25 pm
I think that was funny

jaydd said...
on Jan. 31 2009 at 2:30 pm
this all made sense till the "dad pulling chain" part! it was funny and cool i thought it was going into "growing older and your dad didnt want you to leave" then BAM your dads trying to drag you down

Samuel said...
on Jan. 30 2009 at 12:28 am
I feel disgraced. You're all supposed writers or literary fans yet you abuse and make mockery of a grand language! The poem itself is good, but honestly, the 'I's? You couldn't capitalize them? That infuriates me beyond manifestation of words. So perhaps I'll write a poem on my discontent. Good day, grammar murderer.

K.kissy face said...
on Jan. 28 2009 at 10:16 pm
hey honestly i believe that the poem came from what you were thinking because i mean poems are just thoughts and you cant let people judge those thoughts if you liked your poem that is all that really counts so write more and when your famous for your writing look down on all those who judged you and see where they are in 15 years okay so keep trying because i think you write beautifully and remember write for yourself not for others!

blackswan said...
on Jan. 28 2009 at 1:41 am
thats amazing ur really good

Peaceseeker said...
on Jan. 27 2009 at 10:17 pm
I don't feel that you really tried. i'm sure that if you really tried you could be an excilent writer someday but right now you need to get your mind in the right place.

JustMeBnI said...
on Jan. 26 2009 at 3:26 am
its definetly different lol but isnt that what poetry is> trying to write emotions and feeling into words?

on Jan. 25 2009 at 9:31 pm
eyy cr im from SI too lmoo i <3 youre poem!!!

Em.Dog.95 said...
on Jan. 25 2009 at 2:41 am
Wow. that's beautiful

irishpride. said...
on Jan. 23 2009 at 1:11 am
Wow, this was a beautiful poem. I read it over a few times, it's very nice. :]

babygirl792 said...
on Jan. 21 2009 at 8:18 pm
I love this poem..its really nice..u r very talented

angelalynn said...
on Jan. 21 2009 at 1:10 am
Wow! that was really great, your very talented

on Jan. 20 2009 at 9:59 pm
Wonderful piece, Carl. Since I have ADHD, my mind sometimes refuses to stay rapt when in class, or reading-- But this poem captivated my attention. It was great. I'd like to also note that I absolutely adored your use of slant rhyme. -Ally

aaron said...
on Jan. 20 2009 at 8:10 pm
hey, check my poem out.

TeenInk.com/Poetry/article/14111/Cozy/

great job!

maylin said...
on Jan. 20 2009 at 8:07 pm
Carl I enjoyed the poem. I especially loved the ending, "then i knew that i was bound." the ending delivers the final punch, and the whole poem prepares one for this powerful and revealing ending.

Jim R. said...
on Jan. 20 2009 at 7:49 pm
Great poem carl. Some people are just mad because their poem isn't number one. Trust me, you won't get any meaningful criticism on here. only a bunch of haterz..

check out my fictional piece: TeenInk.com/Fiction/article/16690/Dreams/

c.c. said...
on Jan. 20 2009 at 7:06 pm
oruga101,



No, I'm not cocky. I'm simple human! I know I have a lot to learn and a long way to go, but I will not sit quietly by and let anymore take away from my success! By the way, good isn't the best or the greatest! Don't confused arrogance with confidence.



Now can we please just talk about POETRY!