At some point
I should probably stop writing about you
A passive-obsessive pastime
I could find better
Or different
Subject matter
But I find it hard to make anything else matter


It's been almost a year
Since the date I don't remember
Or really care to, either
And yet I can remember everything else


The look in your eyes
And the tears on your face
That, come to think of it
Were rather out of place


The lips I refused to kiss
No matter how much I wanted to
And the slam of the door
As I rushed out


And the slow turn of the knob
As I soon came right back
To find you
As I left you
Alone
As you left me


It isn't easy to forget
The night spent in the cold
With a cellphone pressed to my ear
Hoping to hear something
But being afraid
Of what it might be


I don't care to recall
When I finally did call
Biting back what I wanted to say
In an effort to force out what you wanted to hear
And the begging
And pleading
Crying wishing hoping moaning
And the quiet acceptance
And your resigned sigh
That let me sleep that night


I probably shouldn't mention
Your last message to me
Before I went to bed
With some delusion
Of having gotten through
Your message ended “dearest”
Which you swore
Despite it all
Was still true


Neither of us
Really wants to think of Denver
Thirty feet apart
Looking at each other
But never at the same time
Hands in pockets, eyes cast downward
Furtive glances
Hoping to see
A glimpse of what you once saw


I know now
Neither of us cares to remember
So shall we put this matter to rest?






No, I don't think I can either.