Perfect | Teen Ink

Perfect

December 28, 2011
By Psychic_Sky13 GOLD, York, Pennsylvania
Psychic_Sky13 GOLD, York, Pennsylvania
11 articles 0 photos 19 comments

The mirror
The scale
Neither ever lie
They only tell the truth
In this world of falsehoods

They don't have a problem
Telling me to improve
To shed a pound
Or two
Or ten
Or thirty
To better myself

But the voice in my head
I am sure she lies
But she helps me starve
And shed the pounds away

I have named her Ana
She's become my closest friend
We'll be together forever
Ana and me in the end

I don't care if it hurts
I don't care if I die
I'm going to be thin
I'm going to be beautiful
For once in my life
I'm going to be perfect


People say it's dangerous
That what I'm doing is wrong
But I'm becoming like a model
All waifish and thin
Light as a feather
Magnificent

So I ask how it could be wrong
How being better isn't right
Sure it's hard
And painful
And a struggle
But I'm accomplishing something
I'm doing what I've wanted to
For so long

I don't care if it hurts
I don't care if I die
I'm going to be thin
I'm going to be beautiful
For once in my life
I'm going to be perfect

You may say I'm crazy
Or that I'm just dumb
But a dumb person wouldn't know
All the things I do
About food
Or meals
Or lying
Because I'm smart
And brave
And determined

I'm going to be pretty
I'm going to be thin
I'm going to keep starving
Until I'm bone and skin

Perfection isn't marred by fat
Perfection is just there
It isn't hidden
It's out in the open
For all to see
And that's what I'll be
Perfect

I don't care if it hurts
I don't care if I die
I'm going to be thin
I'm going to be beautiful
For once in my life
I'm going to be perfect

Can't you understand?
Why can't you see?
This is one thing that I want
To do for only me
I'm usually so selfless
But this is one exception
I want to look like others
I just want to be thin

I'm going to keep going
As long as I possibly can
I'm going to do it
Wait and see!
I'll be perfection
Even if it kills me

I don't care if it hurts
I don't care if I die
I'm going to be thin
I'm going to be beautiful
For once in my life
I'm going to be perfect

But I do wish it were easier
That I didn't have to fight
I wish I had someone
Who could relate to me
To talk to me
Support me

I wish I could be thin naturally
Like so many models are
So I wouldn't have to struggle
To look like them.
I want their hollow cheeks
Their sunken eyes
Their perfect frames.
Is that so much to ask?

I just want to feel pretty
To be loved
Appreciated
But I know no one really cares
About your soul
Your heart
Unless you have a pretty outside

I don't care if it hurts
I don't care if I die
I'm going to be thin
I'm going to be beautiful
For once in my life
I'm going to be perfect

And nothing is going to stop me


The author's comments:
Like the other poem I wrote similar to this, I want to help explain how Anorexia can affect someone. I know some people don't understand it completely, so I want to shed a little light on the subject.

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