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My Knight in Crinkled Tin
January 13, 2012
My Knight in Crinkled Tin
My Knight in grand old
Shining armor
Turned out
To actually be wearing
Crinkled tin.
He’s not a knight actually.
He can’t be, what with his
Horse being so unwashed from all the
Lies he smeared on it’s once gorgeous brown coat,
His broken code of chivalry,
And his too-small helmet that fit perfectly before his
Head got too big.
The only knightly thing
About him
Is his sharp
Sword.
The sword he used to
Slice and
Dice my heart
Into tiny pieces.
© Jeff H., Marblehead, MA
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This article has 2 comments.
billgamesh11 BRONZE said...
on Jan. 29 2012 at 4:27 pm
No :P That's the way it was before:) But thanks, I needed that critique! I am new at poetry, so I need all the help I can get to get better!!! Thanks again!!! :):):);)
GingerKarls SILVER said...
on Jan. 13 2012 at 4:45 pm
I really like this(: The way you described him as being a knight, but not really, is brilliant! My only critique is that your spacing is a little off maybe, but I know that sometimes it changes when it's published.
Hope you guys like it!
I am new at poetry, so please tell me if the flow is off because of how I spaced out the words! Thanks! :):):);)