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Past Seduction

January 14, 2012
By WrittenEmotions PLATINUM, Fairhope, Alabama
More by this author
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM, Fairhope, Alabama
32 articles 0 photos 209 comments

Favorite Quote:
The only people who don't get anywhere are the people who don't dream of a better place for themselves...

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~Silence whispers,
A rushing, intimate gentle touch...
Bright eyes surrender,
Despite this persistent ache...
To give in,
Become what I don't know...
Just for your own satisfaction.~

~Playing with my mind,
Darkness intertwines with your words,
With your hands...
Making me love the feeling...
Wanting to hate the pleasure given...
But I can't resist.~

~Hunger in those eyes,
Lust slowly lingering,
Fading the tears...
Erasing the anxiety...
Who are you?
What have you made me?

~...Darling...
Will we ever know?~

© Sarah S., Poland Spring, ME

The author's comments:
About a past relationship....
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 23 comments.

TheGirlWhoReachesForStars SILVER said...
on Apr. 6 2012 at 9:48 am
TheGirlWhoReachesForStars SILVER, Morrisville, North Carolina
6 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
\"Imperfection is beauty; madness is genius.
and its better to be absolutely ridiculous
than absolutely boring.\"
-Marilyn Monroe

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*sigh* oh wow, I can relate.... this is fantastic, and I love it, just like all your other work (: 
deleted said...
on Mar. 27 2012 at 8:43 pm
deleted, Miami, Florida
0 articles 0 photos 194 comments
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Oye this beautiful... I'm gonna pretend for a second this was written for me so I can be happy xD
SpreadUrWingzNFly BRONZE said...
on Mar. 10 2012 at 12:22 pm
SpreadUrWingzNFly BRONZE, Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania
4 articles 0 photos 20 comments
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Once again beautiful, I could feel the longing eyes and almost taste the confusion and fear.
HiddenAngelInTheDark PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 5 2012 at 7:03 pm
HiddenAngelInTheDark PLATINUM, Brooklyn, New York
39 articles 0 photos 177 comments

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Amazing work written :)
AllenStovall PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 2 2012 at 7:53 pm
AllenStovall PLATINUM, Port Lavaca, Texas
23 articles 0 photos 12 comments

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"two things are infinate, the universe and human stupidity, and im still not sure about the universe"
albert einstein

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pretty amazing ill try to comment on more of yours later
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 2 2012 at 6:22 pm
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM, Fairhope, Alabama
32 articles 0 photos 209 comments

Favorite Quote:
The only people who don't get anywhere are the people who don't dream of a better place for themselves...

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Thanks so much! I'd really love to be in it!(:
RayBaytheDinosaur GOLD said...
on Feb. 2 2012 at 11:09 am
RayBaytheDinosaur GOLD, Hampton, South Carolina
18 articles 17 photos 159 comments

Favorite Quote:
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

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Kinda reminds me of something I was going through a few months ago.. this is so beautifully written, you're sure to make it into the mag soon =)
Wonderment DIAMOND said...
on Feb. 1 2012 at 8:52 pm
Wonderment DIAMOND, Scranton, Pennsylvania
75 articles 0 photos 141 comments
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Wow. I like this as well. Its amazing, like it was a transformation you know. And the persond didnt know they were transformed Nice and once again 5 stars
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 31 2012 at 4:55 pm
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM, Fairhope, Alabama
32 articles 0 photos 209 comments

Favorite Quote:
The only people who don't get anywhere are the people who don't dream of a better place for themselves...

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Thanks so much!^^
cut-out-ur-eyes SILVER said...
on Jan. 31 2012 at 4:50 pm
cut-out-ur-eyes SILVER, Mechicsvil, Virginia
5 articles 0 photos 21 comments

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See the animal in his cage that you built. Are you sure what side you're on? What if everything around you, Isn't quite as it seems? What if all the world you think you know, Is an elaborate dream? -Nine Inch Nails

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I love the last two lines in the 1st stanza. Its really good, reminds me of a thing I had with a guy
marissadele PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 30 2012 at 3:14 pm
marissadele PLATINUM, Danbury, Connecticut
20 articles 3 photos 388 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you know how you feel, and so clearly what you need to say, you'll know it. I don't think you should wait. I think you should speak now." -Taylor Swift

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I like the lines "To give in, / Become what I don't know... / Just for your satisfaction.~" nice =)
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 28 2012 at 4:21 pm
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM, Fairhope, Alabama
32 articles 0 photos 209 comments

Favorite Quote:
The only people who don't get anywhere are the people who don't dream of a better place for themselves...

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Well some of it is and some of it isnt buy thanks(:
raeee GOLD said...
on Jan. 28 2012 at 4:14 pm
raeee GOLD, Walla Walla, Georgia
15 articles 3 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Would she hear me if I called her name? Would she hold me if she knew my shame? Would she even love me if I was to blame?" -Favourite poem ever♥

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It's very, original, however, most teens go off on the past love / broken heart things. To be honest, brutally honest at that, I didn't sense much of it being about a past love. Maybe I overlooked it, but it was nonetheless a wonderful piece. It flowed extremely well. (:
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 28 2012 at 1:23 pm
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM, Fairhope, Alabama
32 articles 0 photos 209 comments

Favorite Quote:
The only people who don't get anywhere are the people who don't dream of a better place for themselves...

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Thanks! And I want to be!(:
chloena_garrett GOLD said...
on Jan. 28 2012 at 1:17 pm
chloena_garrett GOLD, Colorado City, Texas
19 articles 13 photos 180 comments

Favorite Quote:
At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet.

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.

A poem is never finished, only abandoned.

Art is the only way to run away without leaving home.

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WOW! i love the placement and display of the feeling and passion throughout the poem. I just adore your work. You should get published! 5/5
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 25 2012 at 6:39 pm
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM, Fairhope, Alabama
32 articles 0 photos 209 comments

Favorite Quote:
The only people who don't get anywhere are the people who don't dream of a better place for themselves...

View profile
Hows it interesting?
Silverleaf SILVER said...
on Jan. 25 2012 at 6:36 pm
Silverleaf SILVER, North Vernon, Indiana
7 articles 0 photos 22 comments
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good job, well done, very interesting as well
recurring_resilience SILVER said...
on Jan. 20 2012 at 9:01 pm
recurring_resilience SILVER, Ashburn, Virginia
9 articles 0 photos 92 comments

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"These are the times that try men's souls." - Thomas Paine.

"You don't understand! I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I could've been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am." - On the Water Front

"This is my place of failure."

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Well written as always but there seemed to be a sinister feel to it, very subtle.. I'm not sure if that's what you were aiming for but it certainly disturbed me to a point. Good work. Though it makes me curious why you named it "Past Seduction"
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 20 2012 at 8:51 pm
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM, Fairhope, Alabama
32 articles 0 photos 209 comments

Favorite Quote:
The only people who don't get anywhere are the people who don't dream of a better place for themselves...

View profile
Thanks I'll consider it.
-Emie- SILVER said...
on Jan. 20 2012 at 8:36 pm
-Emie- SILVER, Wayland, Massachusetts
8 articles 0 photos 171 comments

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"Well-behaved women seldom make history." - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
"Fairy tales do not tell children that dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children that dragons can be killed." - G.K. Chesterton

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I'd probably use less ellipsis and ~'s. Maybe use some periods and commas to add some more direction for how it's mean to be read instead of the ellipsis. The rest is pretty well split though.