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Past Seduction

January 14, 2012
By WrittenEmotions PLATINUM, Fairhope, Alabama
More by this author
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM, Fairhope, Alabama
32 articles 0 photos 209 comments

Favorite Quote:
The only people who don't get anywhere are the people who don't dream of a better place for themselves...

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~Silence whispers,
A rushing, intimate gentle touch...
Bright eyes surrender,
Despite this persistent ache...
To give in,
Become what I don't know...
Just for your own satisfaction.~

~Playing with my mind,
Darkness intertwines with your words,
With your hands...
Making me love the feeling...
Wanting to hate the pleasure given...
But I can't resist.~

~Hunger in those eyes,
Lust slowly lingering,
Fading the tears...
Erasing the anxiety...
Who are you?
What have you made me?

~...Darling...
Will we ever know?~

© Sarah S., Poland Spring, ME

The author's comments:
About a past relationship....
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This article has 23 comments.

TheGirlWhoReachesForStars SILVER said...
on Apr. 6 2012 at 9:48 am
TheGirlWhoReachesForStars SILVER, Morrisville, North Carolina
6 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
\&quot;Imperfection is beauty; madness is genius. <br /> and its better to be absolutely ridiculous <br /> than absolutely boring.\&quot;<br /> -Marilyn Monroe

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*sigh* oh wow, I can relate.... this is fantastic, and I love it, just like all your other work (: 
deleted said...
on Mar. 27 2012 at 8:43 pm
deleted, Miami, Florida
0 articles 0 photos 194 comments
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Oye this beautiful... I'm gonna pretend for a second this was written for me so I can be happy xD
SpreadUrWingzNFly BRONZE said...
on Mar. 10 2012 at 12:22 pm
SpreadUrWingzNFly BRONZE, Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania
4 articles 0 photos 20 comments
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Once again beautiful, I could feel the longing eyes and almost taste the confusion and fear.
HiddenAngelInTheDark PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 5 2012 at 7:03 pm
HiddenAngelInTheDark PLATINUM, Brooklyn, New York
39 articles 0 photos 177 comments

Favorite Quote:
Theres so many that I can&#039;t pick sorry

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Amazing work written :)
AllenStovall PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 2 2012 at 7:53 pm
AllenStovall PLATINUM, Port Lavaca, Texas
23 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;two things are infinate, the universe and human stupidity, and im still not sure about the universe&quot;<br /> albert einstein

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pretty amazing ill try to comment on more of yours later
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 2 2012 at 6:22 pm
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM, Fairhope, Alabama
32 articles 0 photos 209 comments

Favorite Quote:
The only people who don&#039;t get anywhere are the people who don&#039;t dream of a better place for themselves...

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Thanks so much! I'd really love to be in it!(:
RayBaytheDinosaur GOLD said...
on Feb. 2 2012 at 11:09 am
RayBaytheDinosaur GOLD, Hampton, South Carolina
18 articles 17 photos 159 comments

Favorite Quote:
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

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Kinda reminds me of something I was going through a few months ago.. this is so beautifully written, you're sure to make it into the mag soon =)
Wonderment DIAMOND said...
on Feb. 1 2012 at 8:52 pm
Wonderment DIAMOND, Scranton, Pennsylvania
75 articles 0 photos 141 comments
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Wow. I like this as well. Its amazing, like it was a transformation you know. And the persond didnt know they were transformed Nice and once again 5 stars
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 31 2012 at 4:55 pm
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM, Fairhope, Alabama
32 articles 0 photos 209 comments

Favorite Quote:
The only people who don&#039;t get anywhere are the people who don&#039;t dream of a better place for themselves...

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Thanks so much!^^
cut-out-ur-eyes SILVER said...
on Jan. 31 2012 at 4:50 pm
cut-out-ur-eyes SILVER, Mechicsvil, Virginia
5 articles 0 photos 21 comments

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See the animal in his cage that you built. Are you sure what side you&#039;re on? What if everything around you, Isn&#039;t quite as it seems? What if all the world you think you know, Is an elaborate dream? -Nine Inch Nails

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I love the last two lines in the 1st stanza. Its really good, reminds me of a thing I had with a guy
marissadele PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 30 2012 at 3:14 pm
marissadele PLATINUM, Danbury, Connecticut
20 articles 3 photos 388 comments

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&quot;If you know how you feel, and so clearly what you need to say, you&#039;ll know it. I don&#039;t think you should wait. I think you should speak now.&quot; -Taylor Swift

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I like the lines "To give in, / Become what I don't know... / Just for your satisfaction.~" nice =)
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 28 2012 at 4:21 pm
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM, Fairhope, Alabama
32 articles 0 photos 209 comments

Favorite Quote:
The only people who don&#039;t get anywhere are the people who don&#039;t dream of a better place for themselves...

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Well some of it is and some of it isnt buy thanks(:
raeee GOLD said...
on Jan. 28 2012 at 4:14 pm
raeee GOLD, Walla Walla, Georgia
15 articles 3 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Would she hear me if I called her name? Would she hold me if she knew my shame? Would she even love me if I was to blame?&quot; -Favourite poem ever&hearts;

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It's very, original, however, most teens go off on the past love / broken heart things. To be honest, brutally honest at that, I didn't sense much of it being about a past love. Maybe I overlooked it, but it was nonetheless a wonderful piece. It flowed extremely well. (:
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 28 2012 at 1:23 pm
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM, Fairhope, Alabama
32 articles 0 photos 209 comments

Favorite Quote:
The only people who don&#039;t get anywhere are the people who don&#039;t dream of a better place for themselves...

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Thanks! And I want to be!(:
chloena_garrett GOLD said...
on Jan. 28 2012 at 1:17 pm
chloena_garrett GOLD, Colorado City, Texas
19 articles 13 photos 180 comments

Favorite Quote:
At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet.<br /> <br /> Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.<br /> <br /> A poem is never finished, only abandoned.<br /> <br /> Art is the only way to run away without leaving home.

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WOW! i love the placement and display of the feeling and passion throughout the poem. I just adore your work. You should get published! 5/5
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 25 2012 at 6:39 pm
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM, Fairhope, Alabama
32 articles 0 photos 209 comments

Favorite Quote:
The only people who don&#039;t get anywhere are the people who don&#039;t dream of a better place for themselves...

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Hows it interesting?
Silverleaf SILVER said...
on Jan. 25 2012 at 6:36 pm
Silverleaf SILVER, North Vernon, Indiana
7 articles 0 photos 22 comments
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good job, well done, very interesting as well
recurring_resilience SILVER said...
on Jan. 20 2012 at 9:01 pm
recurring_resilience SILVER, Ashburn, Virginia
9 articles 0 photos 92 comments

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&quot;These are the times that try men&#039;s souls.&quot; - Thomas Paine.<br /> <br /> &quot;You don&#039;t understand! I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I could&#039;ve been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am.&quot; - On the Water Front<br /> <br /> &quot;This is my place of failure.&quot;

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Well written as always but there seemed to be a sinister feel to it, very subtle.. I'm not sure if that's what you were aiming for but it certainly disturbed me to a point. Good work. Though it makes me curious why you named it "Past Seduction"
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 20 2012 at 8:51 pm
WrittenEmotions PLATINUM, Fairhope, Alabama
32 articles 0 photos 209 comments

Favorite Quote:
The only people who don&#039;t get anywhere are the people who don&#039;t dream of a better place for themselves...

View profile
Thanks I'll consider it.
-Emie- SILVER said...
on Jan. 20 2012 at 8:36 pm
-Emie- SILVER, Wayland, Massachusetts
8 articles 0 photos 171 comments

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&quot;Well-behaved women seldom make history.&quot; - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich<br /> &quot;Fairy tales do not tell children that dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children that dragons can be killed.&quot; - G.K. Chesterton

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I'd probably use less ellipsis and ~'s. Maybe use some periods and commas to add some more direction for how it's mean to be read instead of the ellipsis. The rest is pretty well split though.