I wish summer would happen to me.
I’ve been swimming in a wintry limbo
For what seems like far too long.
Maybe winter has something to teach me,
But please, just let me
take the test.
I promise
I can get through spring
Without failing
I think.
Track season does weird things to the psyche.
So does spring sunshine
and throwing off winter coats
for the first time in far too long.
(But don’t forget,
so do the falling leaves
and the Octobery smell
and the dust in the air when we run.)
Perhaps my psyche will be too vulnerable.
Perhaps I will fail.
But really,
I failed last spring
And the spring before that
I’ve survived this winter
And the winter before that
What makes you think
I can’t do it again?
What makes you think
I would fail a third time?
Is that your ruse?
Third time the charm?
Fine.
Watch me.
I’ll ace your test.
I won’t need to survive another winter.
I’ll live them all instead.