The Pale Man | Teen Ink

The Pale Man

June 15, 2012
By Masey400 GOLD, Ribera, New Mexico
Masey400 GOLD, Ribera, New Mexico
16 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Being well-dressed is not a matter of having expensive clothes or the 'right clothes. I don't care if you're wearing rags, but they must suit you."












Louise Nelson


bang,bang,bang
an old,tall,pale man with black hair knocks on your door.
As he smiles at you,you notice
that his pearly white canine teeth
are sharper than the rest.
"Hi girly," He whispers into your ear.
And asks for a kiss...


The author's comments:
I was trying to write the beginning of something creepy. Dracula...sort of.

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This article has 6 comments.


Masey400 GOLD said...
on Jun. 22 2012 at 7:21 pm
Masey400 GOLD, Ribera, New Mexico
16 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Being well-dressed is not a matter of having expensive clothes or the 'right clothes. I don't care if you're wearing rags, but they must suit you."












Louise Nelson

The point of this poem was not to be literal. It was supposed to hint at something creepy that could have developed from this point.

Masey400 GOLD said...
on Jun. 18 2012 at 6:53 pm
Masey400 GOLD, Ribera, New Mexico
16 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Being well-dressed is not a matter of having expensive clothes or the 'right clothes. I don't care if you're wearing rags, but they must suit you."












Louise Nelson

Thank you to all of you who voted or commented. It is much appreciated!!

Masey400 GOLD said...
on Jun. 18 2012 at 6:44 pm
Masey400 GOLD, Ribera, New Mexico
16 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Being well-dressed is not a matter of having expensive clothes or the 'right clothes. I don't care if you're wearing rags, but they must suit you."












Louise Nelson

Yes. I guess you are smarter than her. I did not think about what I would do while I was writing this poem. Next time I should mae the character be more intelligent. However, I think it would kind of ruin the creepiness if the dog was unleashed on the guy.:)

Masey400 GOLD said...
on Jun. 18 2012 at 6:42 pm
Masey400 GOLD, Ribera, New Mexico
16 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Being well-dressed is not a matter of having expensive clothes or the 'right clothes. I don't care if you're wearing rags, but they must suit you."












Louise Nelson

Very good point. It is stupid of the girl to open the door. Many characters do stupid things.:)

on Jun. 17 2012 at 10:57 pm
TheCapturedBat GOLD, Belen, New Mexico
12 articles 0 photos 88 comments

Favorite Quote:
If all else perished and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger.
-- Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights

By the way, I don't mean to insult the poem. I'm just saying that if it were me, I wouldn't get close enough for him to whisper in my ear. I would unleash the dog on him and then go and hide in the closet.

on Jun. 17 2012 at 10:55 pm
TheCapturedBat GOLD, Belen, New Mexico
12 articles 0 photos 88 comments

Favorite Quote:
If all else perished and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger.
-- Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights

This is creepy, but the creepiness is somewhat dulled by the fact that the girl was stupid enough to open the door.